Part one: Carrie Santino
In P18, Cooper stops at Judy's diner in Odessa, TX. He cops an attitude to the waitress when she offers him coffee. This is similar to P11 when Candie is pouring coffee for Bradley, and Rodney shoots her a look. Mitchums in P11, visuals connections to the couple at the diner in P18. At the diner, Cooper got Carrie's address and picked her up to take her to the Palmer house.
In P11, Cooper did dine with the Mitchums, at Santino’s restaurant. The lamps and lighting are similar to the Log Lady's (LL) place. Margaret offered coffee and pie to Hawk in P2, who was out and about in the woods following some lead that the LL also knew about. At Santino’s, Cooper chowed down on pie and had a coffee. This could be seen as a version of the LL's place, coinciding with a storyline where Hawk went to Margaret's that night, in that P2 pocket reality. Hawk in P12, like Cooper in P18, was also at the front door of the Palmer house (where Sarah had a bad attitude). Let's construct an alt version of the P18 scenario where Hawk in place of Cooper gets the address of a 'Carrie Santino' (her name has no ring to it, so she has no phone), linked to the LL and another characters, and goes to her place where he’s invited in.
In P1, the LL called Hawk with a hint about Cooper, which had something to do with his heritage. This is brought up again in P4, when sarcastic Chad entered the conference room (note: the actor who plays Chad is Italian). In P18, the dead man on the chair is linked to Chad - Chad said "right between the.." and then got knocked out from the cell door that hit him in the forehead, and the fella in the chair has a bullet hole in the same spot. This Carrie Santino might have a son who is a version of Chad, who sits on a chair when Hawk arrives (P7, after being let it: "let's sit down and have a nice chat/Chad"; P1 trio of fellas in chairs/seats).
In P7, after Hawk finds the diary pages in the bathroom (where Chad had seen him), he reports his findings to Frank. Hawk's ambiguous dialogue leaves open the possibility of multiple characters who could have said something - "She said that these words from Annie came to her in a dream" (what Laura 'said' in her diary), "This thing she said...the good Dale is in the lodge and can't come out" (what Annie said to Laura in her dream), and in P4 "That's what she said" (about what the LL said to Hawk on the phone). In one possibility, Hawk went to a Carrie Santino's place to find something out and reported back to Frank with something that she said.
In P4, Bobby mentioned that his mother told him that Cooper had stopped by the house the day before his father died, and shortly before Cooper skipped town. Chad had just left the conference room, a split second before Bobby entered (as if they aren't meant to appear in the same shot/world). The storyline with Betty Briggs and her son also fits into this Carrie Santino framework (with Chad and Bobby blending together), so that Betty takes the role of Carrie in P9. The trio of fellas went to her place and she said that years ago her husband Garland knew they would come to ask about Cooper and she was to give them the tube. So this Carrie Santino’s husband would also have been dead and would have known Cooper in the past. The LL's husband was named 'Sam' (who also died in a fire like Garland). Sam Stanley (SS; like ‘Sam Santino’) was a character in FWWM, Chet's sidekick on the Teresa Banks investigation, who randomly was estimating the value of things in Dear Meadow.
So a version of Cooper (or Chet) was missing in this pocket reality and Hawk went to a Carrie Santino's place, who had a son, and a husband (Sam?) that died years ago (parallel to Garland), because this Cooper or Chet had allegedly seen the husband shortly he disappeared or skipped town. Hawk then got some information from this Carrie (and maybe he found something else in the home, parallel to the P6 scenario in the bathroom where Chad/the son saw him, as well as the 'tube' scenario) and reported back to his boss. Since Cooper is on Albert and Gordon's team, Albert would seem to be involved in this framework, such that it could be blend of Hawk and Albert who went to this Carrie’s.
In FWWM, Sam Stanley was appraising the value of things around the station, morgue, diner etc in Dear Meadow. Cooper in S1 discussed purchasing property in town. This Sam may have been a real estate agent or appraiser, who went with Cooper to a house he wanted to purchase, and then Cooper went alone and vanished (along with the house and the home owner? parallel to Chet in FWWM and the trailer, which was linked to the Chalfonts). In P11 at Santinos, the old casino slot lady talked about getting a house and her son Denver back in her life. She may be parallel to old Mrs Chalfont whose house Dale found himself in with Laura in the FWWM dream sequence. If the casino lady's son is parallel to Chad, they might be another version of 'Carrie Santino' and son, which would make the story fold in on itself – such that, Cooper went to see the house years back, he vanished (along with the house and owner), then Hawk/Albert went to investigate and saw the wife of the man Cooper was last seen with, which would in a sense repeat the scenario if they were parallel to the Chalfonts. The theme of a repeated investigation (and home owners before home owners) is prevalent in the story.
[In Nolan's Memento, Carrie-Ann Moss and Joe Pantaliano are two characters that take advantage of Lenny Shelby’s condition (short term memory loss). MrC in P2 and P13 remind me of a character with a memory condition, going around in circles and being manipulated (and mocked) by Ray and Darya. It backfired on ‘Teddy’ in Memento and Lenny killed him. Ray and Darya’s deaths might be parallel to those two Memento characters. Moss and Pantaliano also had small roles in the Matrix. In S1E4, Albert comes to the station with two men that looked like Matrix agents. Albert cops an attitude with Lucy and Harry. Albert was said to be very skilled at what he did, he carries a case around in S3 and Ferrer is of Hispanic background. Albert may be a stand-in for skilled guitarist Carols Santana. Blend together 3 names – Santana, Carrie and Pantaliano and you can get: Carrie Santino. In S1, Albert said he had a lot of cutting and pasting to do with Laura’s corpse, but he was met with interference from Dr. H and company. In S3, Ruth and Garland are sort-of combined into one body on the bed. Perhaps it was some Albert (Santana’s) duty to cut (Garland’s man parts) and paste together Ruth and Garland to make a ‘Carrie Santino’ but we saw the unfinished version].
Part 2: Dale and Judy in a can
In Ferris Bueller's Day Off, the sister ‘Jeanie’ had a bad attitude (until she met Charlie Sheen's character). Here's the scene: Ferris Buller scene
In P7, Dr. Hayward mentioned a Mrs. Mueller to Frank, some woman who used Skype, and that he didn't need to get out of this chair to diagnose her. Frank's next scene was with Mrs. Briggs, who was on her computer, and a chair (Garland’s) is central to the scene. There's also a character named Buella who parallels Diane (robes, hairstyle). Switching letters in Mueller and Buella, you can get a Mrs. Bueller.
In P14, Diane says that she has a half-sister Jane, nicknamed 'Janey-E.' The first 'e' in Jeanie (Ferris's sister) could be moved to the end so it's 'Janie E' pronounced the same way as 'Janey-E.' Diane also said in P14 - "I don't want to talk about that night," a possible echo of Phillip's line about not talking about Judy. In the FBI’s hotel room, Diane is shot in P16 and right after that (P17) Gordon finally talks about Judy. So there's something to do with Judy around Diane and her half -sister.
Playing around with letters:
'Diane' & 'Jade' <-- 'Jeanie' & 'Dad'. In place of Jeanie sitting next to Charlie, imagine Jeanie sitting next to her dad (Mr. Bueller), or flip to the other side, Diane sitting next to Jade. Jade is a prostitute and Diane acts like one (one her characters in IE was a street hooker), so it's not hard to imagine them sitting together at some station in a cross-over world.
[Dad: When is 'dad' a character? In P5, Doris stormed into Hawk's office and yelled at Frank about her dad's car problems. Right after Doris slammed the door on her way out, Janey-E exited through her front door. Doris and Janey-E are both blonde, bossy housewives. Bushnell is around Janey-E a few times (notably at the station in P9 where Janey-E and Cooper sit), so if the characters/storylines are shuffled, Jane's dad could be represented by Bushnell in the story, a degree of separation from 'Jeanie & Dad']
In the above scenario, where two sit with a receptionist behind them in the background, if Lucy is that receptionist it could also be: 'Jane' & 'Dad' & 'Lucy' -- 'Judy' & 'Dale' & 'can.'
‘Can?’ In P16, Sonny Jim drinks soda from a cup. Just before Cooper wakes up, Janey-E takes him to the “little boys’” room. If there's a version with a can in place of a cup, Sonny Jim could be a little girl who was taken to the girls' room to pee. Relevance?
In P5, Dale goes to work at Lucky 7 insurance, he meets Phil Bisby and on the elevator ride up Phil presses the button to the 7th floor and says "7 Up." Later, Dale has to urinate and Rhoda takes him to the ladies' room. Let's say that Dale was inside or associated with a can of 7 Up, 'with' Judy (‘Mary’ in the elevator could be a stand-in for her). This can of 7 Up (link to ‘Lucky 7’) could be the can that some little girl was drinking out of in place of Sonny Jim in P16. When it was time for him to go out ("you can go out now") he'd be sucked up - maybe into Dale in the coma (his consciousness) or peed out - the swirl of the toilet may be like the vortex in P11 to the Convenience Store complex stairs, where Gerard later passes with Dale; the man urinating in P13 is credited as “Man in urinal”, is that linked to Gordon P11?)
In the P5 scene where Rhoda helps Dougie to the ladies' room, there are two views - one where she carries a large white key tag (no case files visible), and one where she doesn't have the large white key tag. In the latter, there's a brunette receptionist on a red chair (vs. the blonde in beige earlier) and we see the stack of case files. It follows that in the storyline in which there are no case files, Dale was with Judy in the can and then woke up at the hospital corresponding to when Sonny Jim peed. In the other version, with the case files, the Lucky 7 storyline continues into P6. [If Dale goes out, maybe Judy stays inside the can (related? 'waiting for someone' & can), represented by American Girl remaining in the room after Cooper leaves. Naido was also in that room. If some plot elements are rearranged, let's say Naido/Judy pulls the lever, Cooper falls out into non-Existence ('not Janey-E'?), Naido shifts to Lucy, back at the station with 'Jane' & 'Dad' sitting on the sofa, and thus Dale ceases to exist].
Putting more things together & summing up: In S1, Albert with a cocky attitude came to the station to do tests on Laura’s corpse and interacted with Lucy at the front desk (the trio may be a stand-in for a Carrie Santino, and/or on the flip side the scenario could be Hawk coming to get an address of this Carrie, to ask her about Cooper). Later in S1, Albert wanted Cooper to sign a complaint form after he was clocked by Harry, but Cooper declined and out of the blue told ‘Diane’ he wanted to look into purchasing property in town. Back to Lucy – if elements are shifted and this Lucy was drinking from a can of 7-UP (‘Lucy’ an alternative to 'Lucky' in Lucky 7, which would replace the hospital scenario as well) when this Albert or Hawk came in looking for the address of ‘Carrie Santino' and this Lucy goes to pee and flushes the toilet, a dimensional portal might open up, and the scene might shift to her as the receptionist and ‘Jane & Dad’ sitting together (and Dale not existing)? Correspondingly, the vortex might appear at the Chalfont house [and/or in Carrie’s, and suck up this Albert/Hawk (ceiling fan P12 = vortex stand-in; Palmer house P17 linked to the sky vortex), so that Albert/Hawk gets taken up by the same wormhole or whatever that made Cooper disappear] (this would also be linked to Hawk's P2 trip to the red room portal where Hawk and Cooper potentially crossed paths; Mrs Chalfont's house is also linked to the red room). Something like that! Needs work but elements are in place. [Also, in P3 there was a car crash after Cooper got sucked out of the purple place - maybe the story resets around these events so that Cooper crashes his car on the way back from seeing Sam/Garland (and Albert/Hawk and Gordon/Frank's memories reset, like in P14), and the team gets news in P3 and goes to see him in P4 and on and on..]

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I am absolutely livid right now. And if I'm livid, it's time to be worried.
Story time.
When I first started in hotels, I was a total sweetie. I would procure cocoa for kids. I would overlook birthday parties if they were quiet. I would happily fetch someone a roll-away, deliver extra towels, plunge their toilet, etc.
I wanted to be the Hospitality Fairy.
But after Covid-19? No way. I am beyond done.
Our property was pretty "lucky" in the beginning of the pandemic. We closed completely for a few months, unemployment took good care of our team members, and when we reopened, we rarely flirted with 10% occupancy. Rates stayed mostly the same and we had lots of downtime to keep things clean and sanitized. Other than running skeleton crew, morale was okay.
Slowly but surely, however, The Locals decided that since they couldn't go on a cruise / to the casino / bar hopping / Mouse Land (lol), they were going to come trash our hotel. Not every local, but enough.
It didn't help that our rates dropped.
Occupancy climbed which was good for the billz, but not so good for our understaffed, stressed out, team. These rooms were consistently wrecked. Public space was a nightmare every day since we reopened the gym and pool. The amount of guest complaints, requests for amenities, noise violations, under aged drinking, drug deals, 'ladies of the night' and tomfoolery that is currently assaulting my quaint hotel is intense and it's fraying everyone's nerves.
And now? A group is staying with us. I want to note here the the Covid-19 cases have shot up recently here and are predicted to continue climbing due to July 4th.
So when I came in last night to see a packed lobby full of drunk parents I almost lost it. No social distancing. Zero masks. Shoulder to shoulder, crowded in front of the television, talking about an inch from each other's faces. Yikes.
I must have had a thunder cloud over my head because they scattered immediately as I punched in. We don't have a statewide mask mandate so all we can do is FIRMLY HINT that it would be a good idea to mask up.
Half an hour into my shift, the phone rings. Sweet guy from room 2006 says room 2007 is blaring music and yelling at the top of their lungs. Oh heck no. Not tonight, sweetums. I excuse myself from a nice conversation I was having with a regular at the desk, grab my keys and phone, and head up to second floor.
The elevator door slides open. I can hear 2007 from the goddamned elevator.
I was going to try and be polite (it was the weekend and maybe they just needed a gentle reminder of our quiet hours) but now I was upset. They were blaring music like it was Mardi Gras. No consideration for other guests.
I knocked on the door and the room went silent. They were trying to wait me out.
Nope.
I knocked again and announced that I was opening the door. Lo and behold, the door cracked open and I was greeted by a sheepish man in his early twenties.
I asked him, sugary sweet, how many guests were in the room. He lied, badly, and said four. I knew for a fact that I had personally watched a group of at least four girls go to his room when I arrived.
I gave him a Medusa look and told him that if the noise didn't stop -immediately-, they were leaving. If I received even one additional complaint against their room, they were gone. He nodded and shut the door.
You guys can guess what happened right?
I gave them five minutes and then went back up. Music had resumed at full volume and the merrymaking had commenced with renewed vigor!
Needless to say, they were told to leave and guess how many people streamed past me into the parking lot?
10.
10 people in a tiny hotel room with zero social distancing or masks. I had the decency to not call him out on his lie because they were leaving somewhat peacefully but man, I was furious.
I tell people CONSTANTLY, that we are NOT a party hotel, we are NOT built to host events and noise travels like CRAZY between rooms. We cater to business travelers and the occasional sports team and it works. I am beyond sick of locals.
Which neatly brings me to the end of my tale. Team morale at my location is pretty low. Nothing is getting done. Positions are getting swapped constantly to stretch hours. It's rough.
I am scared. A lot of folks think I'm a Debbie Downer because I attempt to keep an eye on the cases but if that's the cost of staying informed, so be it.
To every single one of you who are working right now during this clusterf*k pandemic, regardless of profession, I salute and relate to you with all of my cold, dead heart. ♥️
******* Edit ******* - - Whoa! This kind of blew up. THANK YOU FOR THE GOLD AND HUGZ! We are ALL in this Pandemic together and it makes me feel so much better to know you guys got my back.
ALSO a helpful Redditor pointed out that initially I wrote that our cases had doubled in the last few days. I phrased that incorrectly. Not our TOTAL cases (what a nightmare that would be) but our daily totals. AKA we went from 400~ cases to 900ish DAILY cases over a weekend. Sorry for any confusion!

I held up my boarding pass and walked through the gate. My wife, Harper, was right ahead of me, and we both were so loaded with bags and suitcases that we could barely fit between the doorways. Our 10th anniversary was in a couple of days. We both had come into agreement that there was no better way to celebrate than to go on an all-expense-paid cruise to Hawaii.
As we made it up to the deck, we marveled at all the entertainment. There was a band playing to greet us. Pools, water slides, mini-golf, a drive-in sized screen that was displaying boarding information, bars, and restaurants, and that was just what we could see while walking in! This was definitely the right choice for our anniversary vacation. I couldn’t wait to get these bags unloaded and start to enjoy ourselves.
We went into the doors that led to the cabins. There was another beautiful bar down below us. There was a sports bar to the left showing the games on different screens and a small library to our right. Before we made it to the cabins, there was a coffee bar that served specialty coffees and desserts. If religion has it right, I hope that heaven is something like this. You couldn’t walk through a door anywhere without finding something exciting.
Once we made it to our cabin, we dropped all our bags and looked at each other with stars in our eyes. I pulled my wife close for a kiss and then kept my arms around her. I asked eagerly about how we should begin.
“Well, what should we do first? The casino? The arcade?”
She smirked before replying.
“Such a man, don’t forget about the fine dining at 6, followed by the show at the Theatre.”
I drew back and acted faux offended.
“Are you insinuating that I have no culture? I made our reservations before we even boarded, don’t worry. Dinner isn’t for a long time though, how about we go get some of those tacos and a coffee to get ourselves going.”
“Now you’re speaking my language.” She replied with a grin.
“Let’s unpack later. I am starving, and I think that coffee bar right there makes caramel macchiatos.”
Her eyes lit up yet again as I grabbed her hand, and we rushed towards the door. The coffee bar did have macchiatos, which I got with an extra shot of espresso. She ordered a frozen drink that was more sweetness than coffee, and we made our way back onto the deck where the tacos awaited.
The weather was beautiful. It was Fall time, and the sun was just warm enough to be inviting, accompanied by the blissful breeze that blew along the top of the deck. As we drew near to Tito’s Taco Shop, we heard the captain coming through the loudspeakers announcing takeoff. He reminded us about the mandatory safety meeting in a couple of hours and then wished us to have a great time aboard the ship.
It was still strange to be in large groups of people without wearing a mask. The pandemic was finally eradicated once the vaccines were distributed. The cruise and tourism industries were hit hard, as were many others. It seemed that people were at last willing to come back out again, and there was no shortage of cruise-goers ready for a trip to the islands.
I had my phone out and was looking up things to do in Honolulu for the days that we were in port. Scuba diving was a must. I had heard that sometimes you could see sharks or even hold an octopus on your hand if you got lucky enough. I wanted to do some hiking near the volcanoes if we had time. All the spam was going to be strange, but as much as they cook with it, I bet they were able to make it taste like a delicacy.
They were in the process of building a new aquarium. It looked like it was going to be a huge one. Sadly, it did not look like it would be done in time for us to check it out. The black sands beach looked incredible, though. Instead of sand, it said that the whole beach was covered in smooth black lava rocks. We would definitely have to make a stop there.
“Ethan! Do you want salsa on your tacos? Chicken or steak?”
I put my phone away and looked at the meats before responding and did so to the guy who was making them as he finished up my wife’s two glorious looking tacos.
“I’ll take one of both with some of that green salsa. Thank you!”
All the free tacos that you could eat, why couldn’t life always be like that?
“Let’s sit over there by the side, so we can watch the takeoff,” Harper said, before taking a big sip of her frozen coffee.
We took a seat and took in the last sight of land that we would see for about 4 days. Once we arrived, we would tour the different islands, stopping at each port and having a day to explore. There were some people on land waving towards the ship. We joined many others who were near the side waving back. I couldn’t help but feel bad for all of those poor people stuck on the land.
“Bon Voyage to us, I guess.”
I held up my coffee for a cheers, and Harper returned the gesture. Her face was glowing. I couldn’t remember seeing her so happy since the day of our wedding.
“This is really going to be a nice break from reality.” She said as she picked up her taco to take her first bite.
“Yeah, it will. Nothing like this in the world.”
We took our time, enjoying each bite as our view of the coastline became a thing of the past. When we were finished, we looked into each other’s eyes. I reached across the table to hold her hand. She sounded a bit anxious as she spoke.
“It is a lot to take in, isn’t it? There is so much to do that I’m afraid of missing out on something. Where should we go first?”
I squeezed her hand and spoke in a reassuring tone.
“We have plenty of time to take it all in. Let’s just make sure to relax and do whatever makes us happy. It will all work itself out.”
Once we had our fill of gazing into the ocean, we decided that we would head back to the room and get unpacked, while we waited for the safety orientation. The time flew by, and before we knew it, they were calling our section over the loudspeaker.
We arrived with all the other passengers and waited for a moment until the crew member made it so we could begin. They gave us the spiel about the life jackets. They explained how the evacuation process works in case of a problem and let us hear a sample of the siren that would be played if there was an emergency.
I was zoning out and staring out of the window. We were near the bottom of the ship, and you could see the water moving beside us. It put me in a bit of a trance, and I kind of lost myself in it for a moment. I was snapped out of it when I saw something I couldn’t quite comprehend.
It happened pretty fast, and most of the people were looking at the crew member as he spoke. I could have been mistaking, but It looked like a giant tentacle had moved by the window and curled out of sight.
I looked around to see if anyone else had seen what I thought I just saw. There was a teenaged boy who looked excited and shocked. He was tugging at his father’s sleeve and explaining something to him. He seemed to brush him off and looked frustrated at the interruption. Everyone else was paying attention to the speech and had apparently not seen a thing.
Harper noticed how shaken I was and asked me quietly if everything was alright. I shook it off and said I would tell her about it later. We sat through the rest of the orientation. Nothing else went by the window, other than the waves being made by the ship.
As we arrived back on the deck, we were grabbing a drink from the tiki-themed bar. Harper chose one of those blue drinks with the little umbrella on top. After what I had seen, I opted for a straight glass of their best scotch. I had explained my story to her, and she was busy trying to figure out what it could have been that I saw.
“So, you’re sure it was all the way up by the window? Even at that lower level, that must be pretty high up from the water. Maybe it was something that crawled up the side, and it just seemed like it was larger because of forced-perspective?”
I took a big sip of my scotch and shook my head in confusion.
“Yeah, I mean, maybe. I really don’t know.”
She looked as if a light bulb went off in her head, and she shot back a smart remark.
“You’ve been reading a bunch of that H. P. Lovecraft stuff again, haven’t you? I’m sure it wasn’t Cthulhu if that’s what you are thinking.”
I laughed and felt my tension release.
“No, it’s not that. I just thought it was weird, that’s all. Enough about that, let’s figure out what we’re going to do until the formal dinner and play tonight.”
She responded with a grin.
“I seem to remember someone mentioning the arcade and the casino.”
I must have looked like a kid on Christmas morning because she burst out laughing. We finished our drinks and made our way past the large screen that was now cycling through reminders of all the different events that you could attend. Night club, comedy club, it seemed like there was no end to the number of things you could do on this ship.
We walked through the casino that was already bustling with cruise-goers. It looked like a good time. They even had versions of those toy cranes that were set up to pick up huge wads of cash. That might be the next stop, but I had my eyes set on the zombie shooter game with two green guns. The arcade was right past the casino and was full of all kinds of games to keep us entertained.
Not as many people were eager to jump straight for the arcade apparently. Harper and I had the whole place to ourselves. I went to the coin machine to get out some tokens. There was a door that read “Staff Only” right by the machine. I heard a loud slamming noise that caught my attention, even over the music that was playing in the arcade. I leaned in a little and heard a heated conversation on the other side.
“This is so fucked up. I can’t believe that they got loose. They need to tell all of the people!”
“Can you imagine the chaos that would cause? I get where you are coming from, trust me. It’s better this way, though.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right… People would be going crazy.”
The door opened, and I jumped as I was still leaning in to eavesdrop. This must have been apparent to the two kids who walked out because they looked a bit frightened and then hurried right past me. I grabbed the tokens out of the machine and walked over to the machine where my wife was waiting.
“You look like you just saw a ghost or something. Don’t tell me some fish people are walking around on board now.”
I couldn’t even fake a laugh or smile. I explained what I had just heard as I put the coins into the machine and started up the game. She did not seem concerned about the new development.
“They could have been talking about a mechanical issue or something. Try not to worry too much. We deserve to have the time of our lives on this trip. I don’t want you to start to obsess on this and lose sight of why we are here.”
I shrugged at this and answered in a resigned tone.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Worrying isn’t going to fix anything anyway. Could you please start taking out some of these zombies, though? I’m carrying the whole game over here. You have a power-up to use, hit the red button.”
She smacked me with the gun for talking trash, but the mood felt much lighter after that. Before long, we grew tired of the arcade and decided to play a few games at the casino. I have never been the best card player, and she was no better than me. This being the case, we opted for the giant money claw machine.
I swear that both of us grabbed a stack a handful of times each. The claw would never hold its grip, though. Feeling more than a little bit scammed, we decided to blow a bit of time at the slots until we had to go get ready for dinner. As soon as we sat down, the person who went on the money claw right behind us exclaimed loudly as the machine lit up and started to make a loud ringing noise. I looked over to Harper and gestured towards him.
“That seems about right, huh? We pump fifty dollars into that thing, and he walks away with a jackpot after one.”
“Such is life.” She responded as she pumped some tokens into the slot machine.
I couldn’t help but hear two guys on some machines behind us, as they were beginning to get a bit rowdy with each other.
“You tryin’ to say I don’t know what I saw man?”
His friend responded quickly.
“No, no, no, man. I’m not trying to say you’re seeing things or whatever else. I’m just saying that it’s crazy. There is no way it can be right!”
After this, the first man shot up out of his seat, knocking over his stool as he did. This caused quite the scene, and many people were starting to gaze in the direction now.
“Yeah, that’s alright. You think whatever the hell you want. I’m gonna go find someone to talk to about it right now!”
He stormed off, leaving his friend looking a bit shell-shocked and embarrassed. Harper looked toward me, and as if reading her mind, I pushed my seat back away from the machine.
“Yeah, let’s get out of here. We need to get ready for dinner.”
She raised her eyebrows in surprise at what we had just witnessed and responded.
“Sounds good to me. I haven’t won anything anyway. Let’s go.”
I looked back towards the guy’s friend, who he left standing there. After considering it for a moment, I leaned in towards my wife.
“You go ahead, I’ll catch up with you in just a second.”
She looked a bit frustrated but did not fight it.
“Hurry up, I want to make sure we get a good seat. It’s going to take us a while to get ready.”
She kissed me on the cheek and took off towards the deck, which led over towards the cabins. I walked up towards the man who was about to walk off before I caught his attention.
“Excuse me, sir? I overheard you and your friend. What was it that he thinks he saw?”
He looked at me warily. It was clear that he really didn’t want to discuss the matter.
“Look, he’s usually not like that, you know? I don’t know what’s gotten into him, honestly.”
I shook my head. He obviously didn’t understand why I was asking.
“No, I saw something strange as well. I’m not trying to say your friend is going crazy at all. I was just wondering what it is that he was saying he saw.”
This seemed to unnerve him more than help calm his nerves. He looked around to make sure nobody was listening in.
“Man, he was saying that he saw a giant fucking octopus, bro. Like, 30 feet long or so is how he was describing it. It’s ridiculous, there is no way they would allow something like that on one of these ships.”
My heart dropped all the way to my feet. I covered my mouth, and I think he could tell by my reaction that what he said had rocked me to the core. I stammered and managed a weak reply as horror rushed through my body.
“I..I… On the boat??”
He nodded and looked at me with the same type of concern he had been showing to his friend. My face must have been as white as a sheet at this point.
“Thanks.”
I took off out of the door, in a huge rush to catch up with Harper. I was looking around in a panic, my heart racing and ready to beat right out of my chest. I was about to just take off to the room when I heard Harper’s voice.
“Ethan! Over here, I grabbed some hot tea.”
I saw her over by the edge of the deck, waving me over. I ran up to her and could hardly focus.
“I thought you needed something to help you relax, and it looks like I was right. What are you freaking out about right now?”
I tried to collect my thoughts and was going to respond when she pointed behind me and cut me off.
“Hey, isn’t that the guy that was just going nuts in the casino?”
I turned around, and the man was being dragged towards a door that was marked “Employees Only”. Two larger deckhands were pulling him that way, each with a tight grip on one of his arms. He was fighting hard to try and break their hold and calling out for help. As they made it through the door with the man, I grabbed Harper by the shoulders and looked into her eyes.
“We have to go. Let’s get to the room, I don’t want to explain out here.”
She nodded, and we made our way towards the cabins. Once we were in our own cabin, she put down the hot teas on our dresser and walked right up to me with an exasperated look on her face.
“Babe, what in the heck is going on right now? This isn’t about the freaking tentacle that you saw out the window, is it?”
I looked shiftily around the room and towards our view of the ocean.
“Yes… I mean, no… Well, not really, anyway.”
“You have got to calm down. Just take a deep breath and explain.”
I did as she suggested and took a long deep breath to collect my thoughts. I told her about what the guy’s friend had said back at the casino. She made the connection between this and the man being dragged off the deck against his will. I also explained what I heard from the crew members when we were at the arcade. I could tell she was beginning to take what I was saying seriously.
I looked off into a corner as I made a connection. It seemed like a bit of a stretch to me, but it was the only thing I could think of. I know that she wouldn’t judge me at this point if it sounded a bit outlandish. After thinking it over for a moment, I decided to tell her what I was thinking.
“When I was looking for things to do in Honolulu earlier, there was an advertisement for a new aquarium that was coming soon. One of the main attractions was that they were going to have a bunch of Giant Pacific Octopi.
I didn’t think about it until now, but what if that is what is on this ship? Let me google it really quick, I had never heard of that type of octopus, so I didn’t think much of it.”
I got the search pulled up and nodded in a cold understanding before continuing.
“This is exactly what that guy was describing. I don’t know why they would use a cruise ship to deliver something like that. It’s the only thing that makes any sense right now, though.”
Harper was looking at the google search thoughtfully and responded.
“I mean, I guess that these were two of the hardest-hit economies during the pandemic, tourism, and cruise ships. It makes some kind of twisted sense that they would come together to try and help each other out. Octopi are known to be very mischievous, even when they aren’t the size of a freaking semi-trailer.”
She made a good point. Nothing had really made sense for a few years now with how crazy the world had been. This made as much sense as anything else when it was put into perspective. I just shook my head in amazement and looked towards her.
“Well, what do we do from here?”
“I know this is crazy, but I’m sure they will have a handle on those things. They would not have arranged to have them on board and not prepared for the possibility that they could escape.
I say we get ready and go to dinner as we had planned. We don’t want to spend our whole 10th-anniversary cruise holed-up in the cabin. Even if all this crazy guesswork is correct, and that is what the guy from the casino saw, I’m sure that they have everything under control.”
I pressed my fingers against my eyes and tried to wrap my mind around everything. I may have been scared out of my mind, but she was right. Our best bet was to hope that it was all under control and at least try to enjoy our time on the ship. This was not going to happen again anytime soon, if ever.
“Yeah. Let’s do that, I agree. Let’s just get dressed and try to have a good time. I’m sure if it was too bad, everyone would be on lockdown or something.”
She brightened up a bit with my saying this. We both went into our luggage and began to start the process of getting changed into our formal dining attire. Before long, I was tying the knot in my tie, and she was putting the final touches on her hair. I walked up behind her in the mirror and held her by the shoulders.
“You look incredible. Let’s go and have the time of our lives.”
She gave me a big smile, and I pulled her in for a kiss. I backed up and held out my arm towards her. As she grabbed onto it, we made our way for the door.
The formal dining room was the most luxurious area on the ship by far. Chandeliers hung from the ceiling. There were large wine racks along many of the walls, and the entire dining room was walled in by the most beautiful windows that I had ever seen. There was an ornate window on the ceiling as well. It was just beginning to get dark, and I was sure that soon we would be able to see the stars all across the sky.
The waiter walked up and asked what we would like to drink. He was dressed in a black vest with a bow tie and a white shirt. I told him that we would take a bottle of wine that he recommended. I also asked him to give me a recommendation for my meal. Once Harper heard his suggestion of parmesan encrusted lamb with asparagus, she decided that she would follow suit.
He brought out some bread with olive oil as a complimentary appetizer to go with our wine. As he poured our first glasses and set the bottle down, I grabbed my glass of wine and held it up toward my beautiful wife. She looked every bit as lovely as the day of our wedding, and I was flooded with a flurry of emotions as I said my toast.
“Here is to 10 amazing years. Every one of them has been an adventure, and I look forward to every year that I’ll be lucky enough to spend with you as we continue that adventure.”
She smiled and blushed ever so slightly as she reached her glass to clink off of mine. We both took a sip, and she responded in a relieved manner.
“That’s the spirit, it is starting to actually feel like a relaxing vacation.”
“Hey, that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? It’s so nice to have a break from work, housework, and all the monotony of the day-to-day. We make a pretty good team through all of that drudgery, though. Don’t you think?”
Suddenly, I saw the smile get wiped from her face. The look that crept onto her face was one of sheer terror. Her glass of wine had been in her hand. When her face went from delight to horror, she tossed it on the ground with a crash. A scream came from deep within her, which was blood-curdling and intimated that absolute ruin was imminent.
I turned toward the spot that she was staring at. I understood all at once the doom that awaited all of us in the dining room. A giant octopus came crashing through the windows near the entrance where we all had arrived, knocking over the many racks of wine as it came and turning the floor as red as blood. Seemingly at the same time, another came from the side closest to the ocean and blocked the only other way out of the dining room into the kitchen.
I grabbed Harper’s arm, and we ran toward the corner as far from the beasts as we could manage. It was pandemonium as the whole dining room erupted into turmoil. I flipped a circle table up against the corner so that Harper and I could try to hide behind it for protection.
I saw one man who ran as fast as he could towards a small opening next to the octopus, who was blocking the main entrance. The creature reached a giant tentacle out for him and pulled him into his beak. There were shrieking howls of pain, unlike anything I have ever heard as blood sprayed out from underneath.
A couple of people were able to dart around as the octopus was distracted. Another unfortunate lady was grabbed by one of the spare tentacles, though. He squeezed her around the throat, and we had to watch as her face turned purple. Eventually, the life was squeezed right from her body.
I held Harper tight as she was sobbing like mad and unable to stop her body from shaking. We saw an opening. The one by the front entrance went toward a group of people on the opposite side of the room. As soon as it did, we bolted for the door. As we drew near, another octopus came crashing through the window on the ceiling, crushing a few unfortunate souls as it joined in the massacre. We kept running until we were well onto the deck.
The chaos did not stop in the dining room. People were running like mad all over the deck. I didn’t know where we would be safe, but I thought that maybe we could lock ourselves in our cabin until we could be rescued from this madness. It was a nice thought, but as we went for the doors, another one of those damn things came down to block our way.
We ran for the area in front of the drive-in style screen where Re-Animator was playing. A man was gibbering to himself in a wild manner and hiding behind a chair. As we drew near, I noticed a tear in the screen as another one came through and snatched the man up as he yelled out for help.
Our options for safety were becoming extremely limited. We ran for the bar where we jumped over the top and hid with a large group of people, peaking over to watch it all unfold. That was when we saw what I knew would be the end of us all. There was an army of them descending upon us. I held Harper tight as we waited on the inevitable.
I watched as a family of three were huddling together in the middle of the deck. They were almost surrounded, but the father pushed the mother and child toward an opening so that they could make it to safety with the rest of us. He let out a guttural cry as they ripped him to shreds. His little girl cried in a high-pitched squeal reaching for him until the mother grabbed her and ran towards us.
The mother was getting close when one of the monstrous creatures came hurtling behind her. As she noticed, she reached out with her daughter. I leaned out over the bar and grabbed onto her as the octopus reached the mother and held her tightly. I was pulling my hardest as the mother was holding on tight, and I hoped that they both might be saved.
I was punching and pulling at the tentacles and doing my best to cause him to let the mother go. She released her daughter, and the others brought her down behind the bar. I wouldn’t let go of her mother’s arms as she cried out in distress.
That was when I heard it. It was the deepest and most powerful sound that I have ever heard. It shook the ship violently. The bottles of liquor and glasses were falling all around us. It was hard to describe the immense strength and power that the sound exhibited all around us. When the sound came, though, something strange began to happen.
The octopus that held the child’s mother released her, and we pulled her behind the bar with us quickly. She fell to her daughter and clutched her tightly as they wept in each other’s arms. All of the creatures began to release the people that they were attacking. They were moving in unison towards the edges of the ship. They crawled over the side, and one by one, they made their way into the ocean.
Once all the monsters had left the ship, the people made their way slowly to the side to see what was happening. For some reason, they were all leaving. As quickly as they had descended upon us, they left us. It appeared to be almost in a synchronized manner. They all were swimming in the same direction, and we watched in disbelief. Nobody aboard this ship would ever be the same if they made it out alive, but many of us were saved by what could only be described as a call. A call that came from something massive, much larger than the creatures that had plagued us. It was a call that came from deep within the ocean and was more monstrous than anything that we could have ever imagined.

thank you! this helps... seriously! it gives me some hope and feedback that i'm not completely nuts (if i'm asking the question, i'm probably safe... probably :), plus there's the off and odd chances that run wild sometimes.
i'm enjoying writing today, so please forgive me my liberties as i start to tell a story. some of it you inspired! i'm not done with it, but i enjoy it, and the act of writing is the ends and the means; this story is coming into existence because i am enjoying my play...
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• you end up at this year's oddlyreal conference/festival thingy, which just announced its 10,000^th physically present (at least cranially) biological entity, ”a new record” the announcement continues in a somehow perceptibly excited low and relaxed androgynous voice. despite yourself, you are grudgingly impressed with the oddly tasteful decor and some subdued, relaxing minor key japanese string thing... the word kuto or koto flashes in your head as remembrance. usually these conference/shindig things are visually loud enough for chinese new year and audibly worse than the morning after the taco and chili competition endemic at a government-in-exile rally in a certain ex-president's last remaining casino.
  
• in a word, elegant. in another two: oddly (you sense a theme here) relaxed. like you imagine miami in the '80s, during sunset over the ocean... minus the grime and old people driving on the median. you hear some obvious digitally created lo-fi sounds. 8-bit? looking in the distance, you see a sign with an arrow pointing down and to the left: ”arcade”. mystery solved! your stomach involuntarily receives a flutter of excitement and anticipation; underneath the larger letters reads ”5 tokens $1, 11 tokens $2, 42 tokens $5”. a long, straight haired androgynous couple, one dyed black and the other bleached white lets out a simultaneous laugh in the distance; you hear ”ski-ball!” as the pair run underneath the sign and disappear. this might actually be fun!
  

^{├◉─◇──◇─◯◦─}

• you checked in with only one minor incident: your reserved room wasn't ready yet. before you could say that you didn't mind waiting (an excuse for the arcade... not that you needed one) the concierge asks if you will accept a complimentarily room upgrade to one with a deluxe balcony, japanese bath, and view of the night sky over the ocean (really the gulf) facing west. you thank your lucky stars that that light pollution law passed a few years ago. everyone thought it was too odd and unimportant to pass at the time, and nobody thought it would pass, but it did... without riders, without debate, unanimous. first the house, then the senate an hour later, and the president shocked everyone by signing it at the stroke of midnight on the winter solstice. now you can see your lucky stars... from within a city, of all things. energy use went down because of it, and so did pollution. unexpectedly, cities became quieter at night, and there were less therapy visits for generalized anxiety disorder. book and app sales about astronomy and astrology were trending, and in general, people seem more chill, more relaxed, more focused. it was not uncommon to see your neighbor on a lawn chair on their roof watching the sun set after work.
  
• this night sky was gorgeous! how did so many generations give it up? and for what? crappy 7/11 and motel-6 neon lowglow? lame. the evening sky over the gulf is even more spectacular than you remember, and you pause in your unpacking and settling into your room to watch for a few minutes more.
  
• the keynote speach is listed as a costume formal: tux, gown, dress uniform, and/or come-as-you-are, shoes optional event: another oddly satisfying and kind of exciting contradiction. so the choice is yours: do you pick the expertly tailored black and white tux you had taken in a bit last week? or a below-the-knee black and white gown your partner insisted you pack... just in case. it would be an an oddity for you to wear a gown to anything, you laugh. oddity. this place must be infectious! what the heck, gown it is! luckily its easy to put on and more far more androgynous than expected. it's very nearly like wearing a lightweigh black and grey kilt, like at the highland games. you look over your balcony and see a contingent in formal black-and-white star-trek looking body suit type unforms pause and bow to a group in what appears to be tuxedo labcoats with tails. looking in the mirror, you don't look half bad!
  

^{├◉─◇──◇─◯◦─}

• you have a few good drinks in you, or was that a good few? the air is pleasantly neutral, sometimes just a bit warm, at others a slight chill. the ocean makes the air noticably humid with a slght salt tang, but it's the perfect temperature for it. the slight breeze feels good on your legs, and the white, nearly glowing sand covering the outdoor conference room's floor is pleasing between your toes. your shoes are probably gone with the glass from the previous manhattan... you didn't like those shoes anyway. good riddance!
  
• the keynote was actually pretty good! a little bit dull as you knew all the stuff the keynote speaker was talking about, and she seemed a tiny bit bored herself, like she's given the pitch eleventy-one times already... come to think of it, as she's a founder and cto of a company doing the kind of thing this conference is about, you realize she probably has. her wild perple hair... you've seen it before. the next sip of your drink brings back the memory of its namesake city, and an elevator.
  

^{├◉─◇──◇─◯◦─}

• you were on your way up to the 58th floor for an interview^†, and (yes, the memory is clear now) this nervous seemingly little girl with purple hair and an actual physical portfolio case (black and leather looking and nearly as large as her) rode the lift with you, although you notice she's not as young as she appears: she's just short. you notice that the only other floor selected is 103. and you notice that she is staring at you now, probably because (you realize belatedly) you've been staring at her for at least a dozen floors.
  
• "interview? your first big one?" she asks.
  
• "um... somthing like that," you manage to mumble
  
• "it's dangerous to go alone! take this." as she is saying this (sounds familiar), she's expertly juggling her purse, the comically oversized portfolio case, and something aroud by her left hand. (you feel she just quoted something important, but can't place it)
  
• as the bell for your floor dings and the doors open, she tucks something warm and maybe metal? into your hand and says "quick! put it in your pocket for luck! look at it later or you'll be late. give it back to me someday!"
  
• you nearly fumble putting the whatever-it-is into your pocket as the lift doors are closing. the last you see is a smile as you hear a fading "don't panic!"
  

// current tail. betwixt here and the footnotes seperator, there be unfinshed dragons. and that you heard the elevator version of that pitch waaay back, 5, maybe 6 years ago, before she was a notable cto giving a keynote address to a large and prestigious^* ) vr gametech conference this one. ke back when there were 2 founders and a part time employee with a mohawk and studs in his head
run in to someone at a conference in a little out of the way bar where it's just a bit quieter and you can hear yourself think
 
^{├◉─◇───◇─ footnotes ──◇─◯◦─}

*

• you feel the word 'pretentious' slip past your right eyeball and invade your frontal lobe. it breaks into the stream of your thoughts, despite your conscious and diligent efforts to be less cynical... aaannnnndddd theoretically happier, because you are sort of reading ”the tao of pooh”, based on the footnote of some really weird lady's post on reddit a handful of years ago, and this whole thing about being an uncarved block kind of made sense, but was frustratingly both seductively elusive and easy to be cynical about at the same time.

   ^◯◦─

†

• you got the job! you were very nervous at first, but you felt the thing the purple haired girl princess woman gave you in the elevator. every time you started squirming^‡ because of a question asked (c'mon, "where do you see this company in 5 years?" how the hell are you supposed to answer to that?), you got stabbed on the top of your thigh, right in the rectus femoris, by something in your pocket. this sensation was nearly like getting an injection, and you found it distracting enough you couldn't quite focus on the more inane questions (squirm - stab, repeat) and just said what was on your mind. apparently it, whatever 'it' was, was working, as the facial hair on the man bobbed slightly out of sync with his nods. the woman next to him was quiet and very tomboy-ish; if the peter pan played by maud adams on broadway had a kid with the tinkerbell from hook (1992 julia roberts, not the awful 2024 remake with a cg remade kardashian- glack) and they were raised climbing trees in pixi skorts decorated with pink skulls... but decided to put on an immaculately tailored gray zoot suit made just for her by the costume designers of the matrix... (1999, not the 2023 reboot)
  
• anyway, the tomboy (maud, she introduced herself as later, and she said she liked her name and never changed it) seemed to enjoy your answers, and cut... ned? hagbard?... off in the middle of some convoluted thing he must have proudly dredged from the bowels of the earliest internet archives; rumores and tall tales of ''questions" steve jobs asked potential apple employees like jony ive to tourture them where the scars wouldn't show.
  
• at a glace from maud, "hagbard, pollice verso, commodus? tick-tock! tick tock!"
  
• hagbard locked eyes with you, straightened his posture, and the facial hair grinned a few milliseconds before he did. without looking away he extended his arm like a roman emperor, made a fist, and gave maud the thumbs up. he turned on his heel, his beard followed a tad later, and out the door he went.
  
• "so.... would it sound weird if i asked about what you have in your pocket?" // better phrasing. possible lotr gollum reference.
  

   ^◯◦─

‡

• it's a bad habit you have that is more common than you realized back when you were asked increasingly awkward questions by that guy... what was his name at the time? ted? ned? hagbard? he has changed it at least 3 times since you've been working there and got to known him a bit. at least he got rid of that ridiculous face eating victorian english thing he called mutton chops!

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Credit to Maple_'s original post on the profitability of Independence Day farming with alt characters but I believe that you can augment the original process to keep weeklies and summoner loot in mind. The reason why summoner mains would want to spend some more time per burner alt is because of one French bitch named Pietro being the sole source of repeatable support rolls, but only when you reach MAXIMUM friendship with him once per character. Finally, this guide also accounts for the fact that Weekly ARKS quests give a massive bonus to level 50 characters and will provide additional steps for your alt farming to account for weekly missions.
By farming alts, you can stand to gain the following every day

• ~70 Photon spheres
• 50 MEL, TEC, RNG, and DEX mag food devices
• ~2 million meseta, double that if doing weeklies on that alt too
• 1 support roll
• 35-45 or more glory badges
• 1 Salon Pass
• 1 Augmentation +40%
• ~10 EX-cubes
• 3-4 lambda grinders
• 10 or 20 of A-C capsules
• And some more bonus goods I may be forgetting

Step 0 It pays to prepare

• Remember that this method is ONLY available if you only have 2 or less occupied character slots, you can buy additional characters with AC but those additional characters do not represent additional slots!
• On 1 or 2 days before the weekly reset, keep in mind that this character will be here to stay until said reset occurs so that you can cash in your extra 2 million meseta
• It will pay off to prepare 2 pieces of junk armor level 1 characters can equip in your storage (you get the third piece, sub: weapon barrier as a very early quest reward and can eventually just store 3 weapon subs for future characters)
• Progress story mode to at least the end if Ep 3 Chapter 1. This should give your alts enough XP to reach 20 without even leaving the lobby
• Already be on top of Yerkes material farming. With daily alts, Yerkes' quests become daily too instead of weekly
• Store all other characters' harvesting/fishing supplies, fresh level 1 characters are the most efficient harvesters
• MINOR buy some Alba knuckles for storage too
• If you have a player shop from premium or fun scratch tickets, it really helps but is totally optional. If you do alt farming long enough, you will have more food devices than actual mag levels you can upgrade (it takes 550 to level a mag from 1) and your extra spheres can be converted into more food devices too, which make major bank in personal shops
• VERY OPTIONAL: harvest a million forest tomatoes; it's more convenient to just buy tomato salad
• You can also have some ruins sashimi prepared to further augment your burners' harvest ability
• EDIT: Buy a tomato salad and craft/buy an Enemy Slayer ring +1 (it has to be +1 exactly) at some point and have them in storage

Step 1: Talk to NPCs and get ARKS rewards

• Spam enter to get the talk to Afin quest, then do all of Afin's quests. This is why we have junk armor prepared, so we can do Absolute Unit right from level 1, since its arks quest blocks progression to almost every other arks quest reward
• Talk to Cofy and finish all 4 of her quests, then talk to Echo as well
• After completing all of Afin's, Cofy's, and Echo's orders, there should not be any more blockage on ARKS quests, spam enter on your ARKS rewards and reach level 20
• Talk to Pietro and take his first order, talk to Hans and take his orders to kill 60 volcano dragons and the volcano boss

Step 2 Preparing for subclassing

• Talk to Cofy again and she should have 3 new orders, accept all of them and finish auxiliary and subpallete quickly
• Don't forget to spend your class skills, use the standard SuFi build
• Do an actual quest and go to Time Attack Naverius and fight until you kill the preprogrammed gorango that appears in the first area, then abandoned the quest
• Go to Pietro and get his new client orders quest line, including most importantly the quest to get his partner card
• Take a drink from the med bay and enjoy your free grinders from your daily ARKS mission, they will be important later
• Your second quest is volcano easy mode, this time you fight till completion, bring some FUN point bots too. In volcanoes, you are looking for a fodran (they almost exclusively are in area 2) and your first quest from the Independence Day boss killing quest line
• In quests, I always pick up eggs and ??? eggs (I'm also picking up 7*+ weapons now for nemesis grinding) but in early quests, you also want to pick up every weapon you see. If this is a weekly run, hatch violet and synchro for yourself to save some meseta, otherwise send all the eggs to your main
• Go to Cofy and take your subclass, it's going to be fighter, the standard SuFi build is fine even though we use fighter main class too in this guide because the only thing our fighter will kill is level 1 zaudans anyways.

Step 3: The Cafe saga: we go to the cafe first to get a major funds injection and to give your harvest/fish meters time to top off, as well as to unlock the Urgent Quest arks mission earlier

• Skip the cutscene, and take 1 random franca procurement quest, doesn't matter which one, it will be important for later
• Take purple girl's harvesting quest. Then go to some random planet and harvest and fish once, then abandon that planet to go back to the cafe and continue purple girl's quest chain
• Her next quest is making a Boosted Enemy Slayer ring, specifically the only ring that costs only 3K and 3 naverius rocks (she also gave you 3 rocks exactly, hmmmm), finish the quest buy either making the ring or retrieving an old BER+1 ring from storage and take her cooking quest next
• Now, having hundreds of tomatoes on hand isn't likely so we take a detour and go to Yerkes for his quests and much needed funds
• Take from storage: yerkes items, 15 meat and 3 potatoes (double meat and potatoes if it's a weekly run character), xp boosters, pickaxes, fishing rods, stamina drinks, alba knuckles if present, 10 tomatoes/1 tomato salad if present, BES Ring +1 if present, ruins sashimi if you have any
• Turn in Yerkes quest, THIS is how alts can cheese a good portion of their income since the alt deletion request timer is daily vs Yerkes' weekly timer, we should have zero funding trouble now for our character's mayfly lifespan
• In the personal shop, buy: tomato salad if needed, alba knuckles if needed, heartless impact PA of level 10 or less, 2 weapons with the same name with an element level attached (and make sure at least 1 has 1 affix or more; it doesn't matter if elements match or not, just that both weapons have an element), and 1 random enhancement fodder weapon if you didn't find any from questing. If you actually do have a million tomatoes, exchange 10 of them with the cooking NPC for your salad. IF WEEKLY: buy violet, synchro, and up to 10 grinders too (you want 20 in inventory, 1 for enhance quest, 1 for boosting element quest, 3 for ring enhance quest, 5 per pet)
• Turn in the salad to purple girl and get her final quest: enhancing a ring; you should know have all but 1 cafe arks rewards and spam enter again, this should also unlock the salon arks quest and urgent quest arks quest too more conveniently

Step X: Urgent quest

• When we get an urgent quest shows up after we get the corresponding arks mission, we drop everything and do it, waiting for UQs is incredibly inconvenient when we want this character deleted ASAP and only want to have it registered for 5 hours max
• If its virtual planet, try to do that one 3 times for an extra 10 glory badges but it's not that big of a deal
• Virtual planet, wopal, and apple's doritos are especially convenient for working toward the Boss Kill quests of the event, claim these quest rewards as they show up because they block each other in progression I.E. if you kill 6 bosses for the salon pass but don't claim it, additional boss kills do NOT count towards your Augment +40% reward

Step 4: Shopping plaza and your auxiliary

• Go to Xia before you forget her and talk to her twice to get her orders, accept both and turn in your meat
• Go to Jan and complete his weapon and social quest lines (why game, why can I not accept all of Jan's quests at the same time). THIS is why you have a random weapon and 2 Same Name weapons but walking back and forth between Dudu and Jan gets old fast regardless. Enhance your harmonizer with the fodder, enhance your Same Name weapon with its twin, and affix your gunblade with the resulting element boosted weapon while walking back to Jan in between all steps
• While you are here, you might as well enhance your ring too, it should be eligible for level up if you were wearing it the whole time and you will have the rocks available from purple girl's reward. DO NOT ENHANCE BEYOND +1 however, since purple girl's quest only accepts completion if you own a BES+1 ring exactly.
• Spend your remaining 5 grinders on 5 xp eggs and feed them into Wanda. If weekly, buy xp eggs for synchro and violet too
• Make sure your arks rewards are completely cleared, then talk to the salon lady and make an auxiliary (mine are usually default male human hunter #1 named asdf) and claim your next arks reward: for your auxiliary, you will be double checking your arks rewards between every step so you might as well finish the low hanging fruit quests too like checking out the lookbook or the group chat. Checking out lookbook and talking to the Salon lady notably gives you 3000 fun points.
• Go to your personal quarters (available from quick menu) and place your auxiliary console and summon them, claim the arks rewards for 30 photon spheres
• Send them on the random franca quest then claim the arks rewards for 30 more spheres, then cancel the search and ditch the client order, the client order space is going to be convenient for Step 5

Step 5: Gambler's paradise

• Enter the casino, skip the cutscene, and claim the arks rewards, it only blocks the Talk to Chip quest for a few XP but might as well unblock it
• Talk to the casino quest man and take: exchange casino coins, play rappy slots, play black jack, play mesetan shooter, play arkuma slots, take a free drink, use balloons, kill nyau in shooter, kill 3 kings (longest quest but awards a caramel cube), and maybe find graffiti if you already know where it is
• Exchange your 500 coins, take your free drink first for marginal (maybe fake?) benefits, and make the rounds with the each casino game, as long as arkuma slots is before black jack before mesetan shooter and you claim your arks reward in between each game, with rappy slots being played at any time. Arkuma Slots' Independence Day event gives 3 more coin passes and unlocks Black Jack's event, Black Jack's event gives 30 glory badges and unlocks Mesetan Shooter's event, Shooter's event gives a triboost.
• Even if you only have 500 CC somehow, it should still be possible to do everything, since arkuma slots' event gives another 300 CC to fund all other games
• Mesetan shooter is the most optional game; if you don't really care about caramel cubes or triboosters, just play bronze and get out for 2/5 mesetan related quests (I'm assuming anyone can kill a nyau) or alternatively skip this game entirely. If you do care about the caramel cube, play silver until you get 3 king kills, it may take 5-20 minutes
• After turning in your boatload of gambling quests, another optional quest appears to score 500+ on arkuma slots. This is pretty easy so I usually take a quick detour to do that as well *Get back to the cafe to finish purple girl's quest line and claim the remaining arks rewards, then go to the gate area and spend your skill points and save your build because YES, this 3-5 hour long character does in fact use multiple builds.

Step 6: the home stretch to mag devices and independence but not the end

• Remember Pietro? We still need his friendship card so go do Nightfall Province hard mode (your 3rd or 4th real quest if doing things right) real quick along with any matching client orders, bring the fun bots and START USING XP BOOSTERS, we need them to reach level 30
• Friendship with Pietro achieved! Now bring him with you for every quest from now on, we aren't truly grinding his friendship yet but might as well start chipping at it
• Get back to Xia if you killed enough falspawn (otherwise, run Ruins Normal and abandon it) and take her next set of orders, turn in your potatoes and get 1 more stamina drink
• Go run the first recommended quest quickly on Normal, grab the 3 triboost quests and enjoy more marginal boosters
• GIGA HARVEST: (can actually be done any time after Step 3, just posted under Step 6 since it gives xp too. Optimally done when not using an xp boost or if you have enough xp boosters/photon spheres to not care about wasted boost time, especially since you can trade your several spheres per alt for 75% XP boosters) go to your target harvesting planet on normal mode with 3 bot bodyguards, all your harvesting supplies, and a relatively clean inventory (at most, 40/50). Fish until a fever, then harvest and laugh as you level up and get free 100 stamina incredibly frequently as a level 1 harvester. In-between fevers, use stamina drinks to top off both meters and repeat the process until all harvesting sources are gone. You always want to harvest during a festival, fishing is just a means to power up the fever. This process may take up to 30 minutes if particularly lucky/unlucky.
• XP egg shopping trip: top Wanda to 40 with XP eggs, repeat for viola and synchro if weekly
• HOME STRETCH: Harukotan Rush Practice normal/hard mode, take all the matching client orders, bring Pietro and 2 FUN bots, pop your xp/tri boosters and repeat until you have both level 30 and the augmentation pass; 100 enemies and 3 bosses per run is very efficient for both goals; use hard mode if you need XP more, easy mode if you need boss kills more. This step may be unnecessary if you get lucky with urgent quests though, and the highroll assumption is that you only finish rush practice runs after you finish the urgent quest so UQ runs can count towards boss kills too

Step 7: Fuck you Pietro, my best friend

• Now onto the main difference between my run and maples, support rolls are limited to 1/character but getting there is still tedious and some may rightfully be inclined to skip this step entirely and I would not blame you. Friendship builds with S rank quests mostly and the most efficient way to farm S ranks is to do Supress Zaudan, the first ARKS subquest, ad nauseum on normal mode with only Pietro as your partner, rushing to the end of a small map and killing 4 purple monkeys over and over again until you reach 10 friendship bars. Ugh.
• For this final stretch, we will swap to FighteSummoner and equip our Alba knuckles, then put Heartless Impact on right click so that we can at least dash through this drudgery
• We go to Supress Zaudan, pop a podcast or netflix, and go on autopilot for an hour, occasionally popping outside the gate to get a friendship gift. "Retry in current block" is your friend here
• It appears you need to kill at least 3 normal mobs in addition to zaudans to get S ranks but don't sweat the occasional A, we are going for speed not quality and will be getting plenty of incidental kills anyways

Step 8: Why are we here, just to suffer?

• If your character somehow overshot to 40 or is on their way to 50, go do Cofy's advance quest quest line as each one gives 10 capsules upon acceptance
• Take her first advance quest quest, kill the Udan, abandon the quest, get Cody's new quest to kill a deeg, go to volcanoes to just kill deeg, accept Cody's last quest than abandon it without even going to the desert
• If this is the day before the weekly arks missions reset, your goal is now level 50 and Step 8 now happens before Step 7 but we still abandon those first advance quests
• Your build actually matters now so go do pietro's skill point quest, preferably when it can still count towards boss kill quests
• We now do the classic floating facility XP grind, preferably with Pietro and 2 real people but those real people may have some complaints against a bot so you wont always be able to have both
• At level 45, if you still have boss kill quests, do pietros 2nd skill point quest but otherwise skip it
• at level 50, take Pietro's quests to kill super hard enemies with Wanda, viola, and synchro
• Take your new weekly missions when they come and try to time them to be accomplished before the Zaudan grind if possible so you don't waste as much time
• Step 7 is moved to here now, but now you have to run them at super hard and finish the 60 kills requirement for all 3 pets, yaaaaaay. At least once you finish Pietro's quests, you can swap back to normal mode

Sorry for posting this the day before weeklies reset but there should be another weekly reset before this event ends too