Date: Sunday, 12/2/2018
Location: Seattle area
Total cost: $25k
I love a good brain dump after the end of a long-planned event, so I spent this evening going over all the little details before they start to fade. I'm mostly writing it all down to help myself remember and help friends and family plan in the future, but hopefully some of you will find this enormous wall of text useful as well :)
PICS: https://imgur.com/a/7cRjN19
Stationery: https://imgur.com/a/sgpiWZF
RSVP breakdown:

Invited	154
In-state	113
Out-of-state	41

Yes	117
In-state	101
Out-of-state	16
No-show with notice	4
No-show no notice	4

No	37
In-state	12
Out-of-state	25

Budget Breakdown:
Venue (incl. coordinator, cocktail hour, dinner, drinks): $14,445.77

• Room rental: $1,500
• Food: $4,959
• Drinks: $3,275
• Staff/gratuity/tax/other: $4,711.77

Photographer: $3,379 (8hrs of photography, high-res photos)
Flowers: $403.30
Cake: $554.53
Nails: $75? (Spa pedicure, Shellac french manicure with accent nail art)
Hair: $45? (We switched from full updo at the trial to half-up/half-down the day of, and she gave me a friend discount so I don't remember the final total, sorry!)
Makeup: $140 (Included trial run, false lashes, touch-up kit, friend discount)
My Outfit: $1600?

• Dress: $700
• Alterations: $400? (replaced zipper with corset back, hem, 12-point bustle)
• Shoes: $120
• Accessories: $ 40?
• Tiara: $150?
• Veil: $90
• Cape: $59.30
• Muff: $29.99 (probably could have made two muffs with that much fur, but wanted to leave room for error)

Bridesmaids x5: $157.59 each (They bought their own dresses and shoes, and added on hair and full face makeup if they wanted)

• Makeup: $50
• Muff: $9.67
• Capelet and pin: $15.92
• Gift box: $90? (decorative box, dice bag with their gamer handle embroidered, assorted dice, tin of tea, peppermint chapstick, old fashioned ornament, wine or cocoa mix (for those that don't drink), pajamas)

Stationery: $580.19 (basicinvite.com, used 20% off codes on all orders)

• Save the Dates x75: $106.59
• Invitation suite x80: $357.76 (invite, details card, rsvp card and pre-stamped envelope, belly band)
• Thank you cards x80: $115.84

Wedding rings: $1,200? (both white gold bands with extended warranty, free repairesizing/redipping for life)
Miscellaneous: $1,200?

• Guestbook ornaments: $130?
• Name cards: $90 (bought a template on Etsy, had them cut and printed at FedEx)
• Signs: $13.96 (Welcome table, cocoa bar, 2x bar menu. Printed on cardstock, put in cheap standing frame)
• Favors x150: $689.70 (Customized Adagio tea tin and 2 Dilettante chocolates in a silver box with a bow)
• Centerpieces x17: $170.94 (Greens, ornaments, and twinkle lights in a glass bowl)
• Sand ceremony supplies: $46.83
• DIY Photobooth: $90? (already owned the iPad. Bought a tripod, iPad attachment, some props, and a photobooth app)
• Bubbles for grand departure: $50.94

Not included:

• My engagement ring
• Beach house for bridesmaids the night before
• Hotel rooms for groomsmen and family the night before
• All honeymoon/travel costs
• Rehearsal dinner (covered by groom's parents)

Schedule
Day Before:
12-12:45pm - rehearsal at venue
2-4pm - rehearsal “dunch”
4pm onward

• Groomsmen hung out at the casino (where they were staying)
• My parents met and had dinner with the late-arriving out of town guests
• Me and the bridesmaids hung out at the house we rented next to the venue. Harry Potter marathon in matching pajamas ensued.

Day of:
8:30am - Hair and Make-up artists arrived at the house.

• Harry Potter marathon continued while everyone took turns getting hair and make-up done

10:00am - My mom arrived with donuts, joined the line for hair and make-up
11:00am - My dad arrived with sandwiches for lunch
12:30ish - Photographer arrives for getting ready photos as hair and make-up is wrapping up.
1:00pm -

• Everyone at the bridesmaid house is driven over to the main venue building (the Atrium) to get dresses on and prepare for first look.
• Groomsmen arrive at the venue, get ready in a separate building (the Lodge).

2:00pm - First look photos, photos with wedding party
2:45pm - Photos with family
3:30pm - Bridesmaids hide in dressing room in the Atrium while guests arrive
4:00pm - Ceremony in the Atrium
4:30pm -

• Move guests to the Lodge for cocktail hour
• Bride, Groom, Maid of Honor, Best Man, Officiant sign marriage license in a separate room
• More bride and groom photos

5:00pm - Bride and groom join cocktail hour
5:30pm - Move everyone back to the Atrium for dinner, bride and groom introduced
5:45pm - Dinner service begins
6:30pm - Toasts (best man, maid of honor, father of the bride)
7:00pm -

• Cake cutting
• Couple’s first dance
• Father daughter dance
• Mother son dance

8:30 - Grand departure
What went well:
Bridesmaid dresses: The girls used Azazie and were extremely happy with them! Each picked a different chiffon dress in the same color (dark green) and they turned out exactly how we hoped!
The vendors: 10/10 stars for every single one of my vendors. All of them went above and beyond my expectations and were absolutely fantastic to work with. All of them were on my venue’s preferred vendors list, except hair and makeup who are friends of mine from high school that started a HMU business together.
Going to the venue’s open house: One of the venues we were considering has an annual wedding open house. We made last-minute plans to go, and it was the best planning decision we made. We were so thrilled with the venue we put our deposit down on the spot. We got a chance to try all of their entrees and appetizers, and some drink samples. We got to meet lots of vendors who were already preferred by the venue, and we found our photographer, baker, and florist there that day!
First look: I had always wanted my husband to first see me in my dress as I was walking down the aisle. But having been at weddings where guests had to wait 2-3 hours for photos to be taken between the ceremony and reception, I opted to get photos out of the way beforehand with a first look. It was still every bit as wonderful as I had imagined, and it just made the timing work out so smoothly. And, I had the added bonus of a partial outfit change between the first look and the ceremony - he never actually saw my full dress (or my veil at all) until I walked down the aisle, thanks to:
The Cape!: I knew that I was signing up for a couple hours of (hopefully) outdoor photos, in a strapless dress, in December, in Seattle. Even in the best weather scenario, it was going to be cooooldddd. So I got a navy blue cape and (faux) fur muff to keep warm during the outdoor bits. I was very comfortably warm the whole time, it looks awesome in the photos, and it mostly kept my dress a surprise until the actual ceremony (where I took the cape off and put on my veil).
The Bridal Buddy: OMG. One of my bridesmaids got me this as a shower gift. I cannot sing its praises highly enough. I was able to put this delightful contraption over my form-fitting slip and under the actual dress. It took 2 bridesmaids to help lift my dress and find the arm holes, but once the dress was skooshed in and the neck hole cinched up I was free to go to the bathroom ALL BY MYSELF. As an extremely shy person this was a priceless freedom to me. It felt extremely secure when “in use”, I never worried about my dress falling into the toilet. It didn’t show under my dress at all, I completely forgot it was there the rest of the time. I swear they’re not paying me anything, I just really loved this product!!
Shellac manicure: Totally worth the cost. Got them done 3 days before the wedding, and they held up beautifully for over 2 weeks! Zero worries about scratching or breaking them!!
Early rehearsal dinner: I was a little disappointed that my MIL had scheduled the rehearsal dinner so early, but I’m SO glad she did. I was able to enjoy it without worrying about how late it was getting, and then I had plenty of time afterwards to spend with my bridesmaids at the house while still getting to sleep at a sane-ish hour. I figured we would get hungry later in the evening after eating so early, but we just ordered pizza at around 8pm and it was PERFECT.
Guestbook ornaments: I made another post about this earlier. I was SO HAPPY with how this turned out. I expected people would just sign their names, but most people got super creative with decorating them!!! I got a spray polyurethane to seal the wood and protect the writing (thank you so much streetbirds for the advice!), and the ornaments signed by the band made it onto the wedding tree and back home unscathed!
Hot Cocoa Bar: I was disproportionately excited about this. It was one of the first wedding ideas I had, and I was worried about the venue doing it justice (I wasn’t allowed to bring any outside food or drinks, besides a cake by an approved bakery) but it was PERFECT!! It wasn’t just powder packets and hot water, they had real melted chocolate in milk, and all sorts of fun toppings!! I got SO many comments on it!!!
No kids: There were a LOT of guests, mostly extended family, with young children. I had a very particular vision for the ambiance of the event, and the unpredictability of two dozen young kids was just not what I wanted. I communicated this as early as possible to everyone with children, and only 2 couples (both with ~2 month old newborns) were unable to make it due to this decision. My MIL shielded me from most of those conversations, but everyone was very understanding.
No DJ, no dancing: I’ve never been into dancing. I’m that person who tries to find another non-dancer to talk to while desperately trying to not get peer-pressured into awkwardly bobbing around on the dance floor to music that triggers awkward memories of Jr. High school. I had a first dance with my husband, a dance with my father, and he danced with his mother. Otherwise all of the music was a Spotify playlist of relaxing holiday music. I pay for Spotify premium so I was able to download the playlist onto my laptop (and a couple of old phones as backups), and that worked perfectly! I was worried that people would get bored without the dance floor, but people were perfectly happy to chat, play with the photo booth, play with the coco bar, explore the venue, and enjoy the liquid entertainment we provided ;)
What I’d do differently:
Read the ceremony script beforehand: I can’t believe this never actually occurred to me beforehand, but it legitimately didn’t! My husband’s grandfather has officiated all of the grandkids' weddings so far, and having been to most of those weddings I always thought the ceremony was beautiful and exactly what I would want. Which it was for the most part... the only real problem I had were a couple of very hetero-normative/cis-normative comments (“God made us male and female”, stuff like that). Fortunately my LGBTQ+ friends in attendance confirmed that they brushed it off as “religious grandpa doing his thing” and not something I'd asked for or approved beforehand, so it wasn’t really a problem. Just something I would have liked to tweak in advance if I had thought to ask!
Schedule our grand departure earlier: We had initially planned on having our departure at 9pm, but I was noticing a lot of people starting to trickle out around 8:15. A lot of people had work the next morning (it was a Sunday night), others had a ferry to catch (which was leaving at 8:45), and I was worried that there would only be like 10 people left to blow bubbles at us!! So we ended up leaving at around 8:30. There were plenty of people still there, this allowed more time for cleanup before our time at the venue ended, and we ended up making the 8:45 ferry with a bunch of our guests!
Bridesmaid robes: I never understood why it was so popular to get matching robes for getting ready together. Particularly the lightweight satiny robes I always see in pictures. I’d never wear it again, and I doubted any of my bridesmaids would, so I got us matching pajamas instead since we were staying together the night before. Until I realized...you wear a robe so you don’t have to pull a shirt over your head and mess up your hair and makeup!! DURR. I ended up having to ask everyone to make sure they brought a robe or button-down shirt for getting ready (and ironically one bridesmaid got to re-use her robe from another wedding). It worked out fine anyway, though the robe I brought was a heavier bath robe which did get uncomfortably toasty after a while.