It's true that most traditional ponzi/pyramid schemes (Madoff etc...) collapse because they're obligated to provide unsustainable returns to their investors. However, pyramid schemes that force their sucker "investors" to eat their own losses typically don't collapse, at least not for a long time . Crypto is a perfect example of this dynamic at play, since exchanges are able to establish a consistent revenue stream of hard currency by manipulating the market against butters stupid enough to gamble on margin. The whole thing basically has the business model of a casino/pyramid scheme combined into one. Bitcoin doesn't run on electricity or software. It runs on sheer human stupidity, gullibility, and greed. MLMs like Harbalife largely function on the same principle (forcing the vast majority of suckers to eat their losses instead of guaranteeing an ultimately unsustainable return), which is why many MLMs have lasted for literally decades.
Something that u/thehoesmaketheman said on here that really stuck with me is that governments make pyramid schemes illegal because people love to "invest" in pyramid schemes otherwise. This can actually do profound damage to society if taken far enough, and while any given pyramid scheme might eventually collapse (depending on its structure), there will always be new schemes and new suckers. Crypto is a perfect space for generating both, as it is both digital and laughably unregulated. So I predict the Bitcoin/Crypto/Tether Rube Goldberg machine of stupidity and greed will keep going until governments finally wise up and make it illegal (if they ever do) because its just another scam at the end of the day. Unfortunately for our society and the planet, a lot of people in power seem to be fooled by trendy tech buzzwords like blockchain.

What most people consider to be the high points of the game sandwich what is universally considered the worst segment. Its like there was a completely different crew who worked on that palace. Annoying enemies, repetitive music, infuriatingly bullshit end boss. Every time I replay the game I dread Okumura's section.
Haru is cool though

It’s essentially a 30+ story, 45 degree slope. Would the friction of sliding down instead of a free fall be enough to slow a person down enough for it to be an awesome ride?

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Looking at the number of transactions, users, and acceptance, it seems that at the moment in the early public there is no interest in using another currency than bitcoin and dogecoin, beyond exchange casinos, pyramidal scams, or criminal purposes.
Https://bitinfocharts.com/cryptocurrency-charts.html
Do you think that in the future there may be some altcoin that can replace dogecoin as currency?

Luxor deceiving

Greetings everyone and welcome to another Rotation meta report for Shadowverse!
As always i'll be relying on a variety of sources to stitch together a decent picture of the Rotation Meta. Using Gamewith, Shadowverse-wins.com, tournament results along with my own experiences.
Forestcraft
Deep in the great woods of Forestcraft, in an ancient oaken hall that has stood there since before anyone can ever remember. We find all the leaders assembled trying to figure out what is up with Xeno Sagittarius. Doesn't help that no one can understand it's strange language, in the end the issue gets pawned off on Selwyn as everyone else suddenly has more important matters to attend to.
For Forestcraft Accelerate Forest continues to rule the forests followed by Loxis Forest which has overtaken Aggro Forest. Forestcraft continues to be a strong class with several strong decks and remains one of the dominant tournament classes atm.
Accelerate Forest
A whirlwind of activity, swift and ruthless as the wind! A flurry of arrows and blows strikes down any foe, allowing for a mighty warrior to finish the job
A midrange-combo deck. A strong deck with a higher skill requirement. This week has seen Accelerate forest pull up a bit and start to include Xeno Sagittarius, likely in response to an increase in Rally Haven and board heavy shadow decks, but in other matchups can also serve as card draw and cycle.
Loxis Forest
An outrider of the forests, patrolling its borders and keeping it's safe from all those who would seek to harm its denizens
A midrange-combo deck built around amulets. Loxis Forest has been steadily climbing in popularity, both on ladder and in tournaments as the deck continues to be refined and understood better. While skill intensive, in the right hands it can be potent.
Aggro Forest
The wrath of the forests made manifest, a horde of raging beasts and outcasts ready to strike down all before it!
An aggro deck built around a variety of strong threats and disruption. Seeing a slight drop off in the current meta as Loxis Forest and accelerate forests gains better understanding and refinement, while Aggro Forest just sits about. Still good and a far more straightforward deck than the other two.
Swordcraft
In the eternal Castle of Swordcraft. Past countless banners and standards, tapestries depicting glorious battle. We find Albert being gently taken aside by Seofon after asking Arthur why he's shrunk since last. Seofon requests that Albert avoids questions like that since apparently there's a million Arthur's about out there in the Multiverse. Keeps producing them, that and Jeanne d'Arcs.
For Swordcraft Evolve Sword continues to rest its flaccid buttocks on the throne, followed by Walfrid Sword, Rally Sword and Aggro Sword. Overall Sword remains in an awkward spot, since while it has a decent variety of decks, most are struggling in power level and consistency and generally good tempo plays.
Evolve Sword
Paragons of their art. These heroes stand ready to strike down those without honour!
A control deck built around Evolve Synergies. Evolve Sword continues to be a good deck but one struggling to close out matches at times and there continues to be a lot of experimentation with the deck, but so far, no great results .
Walfrid Sword
An army of men and women devoted to one man's cause. This fleet of the blue skies will follow him to the end of the multiverse
A midrange deck built around Walfrid. A decent deck that suffers from being very linear and a bit slow. Continues to see play here and there, but has consistency and tempo issues.
Rally Sword
A Legion on the march. It's numbers will result in victory, either by breakthrough or by sheer attrition!
A Tempo deck built around the Rally mechanic. A decent deck that continues to see fringe play. This version was recently posted on Twitter and personally i've used it to climb to Grandmaster. So it's fairly decent at least. That said, can struggle with consistency. But it's fun.
Aggro Sword
A wild band of outcasts and outlaws. Their mission to ruin the day of anyone who gets in their way
An aggro deck built around Vehicles. Continues to see fringe play, some versions may experiment with Naht's Henchman and Oluon continues to see some usage as well.
Runecraft
In the mystical Academies of Runecraft, where knowledge rules above all. We find Erasmus supervising the expansion of the Runecraft council chambers, since the recent massive influx of leaders has made it way too cramped. Caglisotro really wanted to do it, but after having seen her plans. All the other leaders left the job to Erasmus.
Runecraft sees Control Karyl rule from the ivory tower, followed by Spellboost Rune, Vincent rune and finally Earth Rite Rune. Rune's in a decent position, but does have it's issues in the current meta.
Control Karyl
Destruction and annihilation is all that follows in the wake of this Girl, as she has concluded that it is the only way for her to get some peace and quiet
A control combo deck built around Karyl. Continues to be the top Runecraft deck, but is a more skill intensive one. Additionally with Karyl rotating out at the end of March, it is tough to recommend.
Spellboost Rune
Magical Servants for every purpose ! As long as that purpose is destroying your foes
A midrange deck built around Spellboost Synergies. A solid yet slightly tricky deck that continues to see a good amount of play. Do keep in mind that Kuon will rotate out at the end of the expansion and we don't know what Kuon will be replaced with.
Vincent Rune
A man who forges the law on his own, and he enforces it as well, ruthlessly!
A tempo deck built around Vincent and Vehicle Amulets. A decent aggressive deck that continues to see play, though does lack some strong threats.
Earth Rite Rune
The peak of Alchemy ! Mighty golems and wonderous magicks that will sear the very flesh of your enemies bones!
A midrange deck built around Earth Rites. A decent deck existing on the fringe. Continues to see play with a small group. Keep in mind that both Karyl and Forbidden Darkmage will rotate out at the end of the expansion, making it slightly tough to recommend.
Dragoncraft
In the great caverns of Dragoncraft, where all manner of behemoths can be found sleeping, waiting for the right time to awaken and bring doom upon the world. We find Hiro on cleanup duty as punishment for his little power trip a few weeks ago. Turns out Forte is quite the slob and he ends up spending days cleaning up her room alone.
For Dragoncraft Face Dragon remains high in the skies, followed by OTK Dragon, Ramp Dragon and Discard Dragon. Dragoncraft remains in a strong position with a good variety of strong decks and no real threats to the class short of any nerfs.
Face Dragon
An incendiary storm unleashed upon its enemies. This deck is full of pyrotechnics and death!
A tempo deck built around a variety of strong threats and answers. Easily the strongest dragon deck and still fairly popular even as Haven has risen up to keep it in check. A part of its strength though is that it can highroll to a degree where it becomes difficult for other decks to stop it. Additionally Jerva has become a staple in the deck with most decks running a copy or two now for extra burn that also happens to work well with Bahamut.
OTk Dragon
A terror from the deepest seas, swallowing up the entire world in its abyssal maw!
A combo deck built around Disrestan. A strong deck though vulnerable to more aggressive and tempo based decks that can run it down. But great vs slower decks as they can find themselves crushed by its OTK.
Ramp Dragon
Soaring high in the skies, ever higher until it unleashes its payload of fire and doom upon those beneath it
A ramp deck built around Resplendent phoenix. Continuing to see some play, there's overall been no real changes to the deck this week either. Solid, but not as fast as Face Dragon or as consistent as OTK dragon.
Discard Dragon
Tossing all to the winds in the hopes of gaining everymore. For this deck, no sacrifice is to steep in the quest to destroy its foes!
A midrange deck built around Discard cards. A bit of a fringe deck at the moment as it isn't as fast as the other decks nor as splashy. So it is mostly played by a small dedicated group of players at this point.
Shadowcraft
In the great Catacomb of Shadowcraft. Where death rules eternal. We find the leaders assembled for a small concert headed by Niyon. A soothing affair deep in the sepulchral depths and Luna ends up gently falling asleep to it.
Shadowcraft Finds Gremory as always at the peak of the Pyramid, followed by Aggro Shadow, Reanimate Shadow with Evolve Shadow arriving to push out Vaseraga Shadow. That deck is still about, but is on a lower power level and so doesn't get a writeup this week. But it does mean Shadowcraft now has 5 decks. Overall Shadow is in a great spot, good variety and good strength.
Gremory Shadow
A vortex of death and souls, all centered around a little girl. Her wicked grin dispelling any notion of innoence
A midrange deck built around Gremory and Necromancy. A strong deck with multiple ways of winning the game, either by Necroimpulse or simply building a board the opponent can't clear. Combined with lots of card draw and a decent amount of healing. The deck is quite potent.
Aggro Shadow
A shambling horde of the dead, their mortal coils motivated only by anger and hatred of the living.
An aggro deck built around very potent threats and Necroimpulse. A strong deck and one of the best Aggro decks in the meta, but is weak to certain control decks and so finds itself surpassed by Gremory Shadow. There has been some experimentation as of late with Winged Zombie for extra burst damage.
Reanimate Shadow
Death is not the end with this deck. it is only the beginning of eternal service for its undying master
A midrange deck built around reanimate and burial rites. Less popular than Gremory but with more control tools built into it, so while slower, it can deal with certain threats better.
Evolve Shadow
Something stirs in these corpses, a new form of unlife! Whatever twisted shreds of their souls remains, formed into something new and terrifying
A midrange deck built around Evolve Synergies. Something that's been brewed on for quite some time but now seems to be catching on. A bit slower in some ways but much heavier on board and can set up for some big bursts of its own.
Bloodcraft
In the great decadent manor of Bloodcraft, where every manner of sin can be found. We find Medusa and Vania grumbling about the lack of remakes and vengeance support. Also Volteo keeps conning Medusa out of her allowance, although Mono is always quick to get it back for Medusa.
For Bloodcraft Wrath Blood continues to rule from its throne of Opulence followed by Volteo Blood and Control Blood. Overall the class is in a decent spot but largely carried by Wrath Blood and really could do with some help to form other archetypes.
Wrath Blood
Pain and Strength are the same thing in the mind of this deck. The greater the pain, the greater the glory!
A midrange deck built around the Wrath mechanic. Continues to be a good deck that does fairly well, even in tournaments. Beyond that, no real changes this week.
Volteo Blood
Everything can be found in Volteo's magnificent Casino, even victory. Just be careful not to get bamboozled
A highlander deck built around Volteo. A fringe deck that continues to have a dedicated following. Fairly skill intensive, it is not for everyone.
Control Blood
A terrible demon propels this deck forward, promising death and sweet destruction, if only its requirements are met
A control deck built around Xeno Diablo. A fringe deck that does continue to see play, but not one i'd generally recommend.
Havencraft
In the mighty summit Temple, where the light shines eternal! We find Eris in her personal quarters, going through her investment Portfolio and really being upset that she didn't invest in Skullfanes in time. She could have made a killing.. All for the greater good of course and not at all for her retirement fund.
Ruling from the holiest of holies we find Sanctuary haven followed by Rally Haven, Control Haven and finally Ward Haven. Amulet and Summit also exist, but out of the 6, those are the weaker ones and so won't get a writeup this week.
Sanctuary Haven
An ancient sanctuary, providing its boons to those who seek to sooth and bring comfort so they will not have to fight, doing so in their stead
A control deck built around the Sanctuary. A strong control deck that continues to see good play as it performs well against Face Dragon. But does struggle against more board heavy decks as it doesn't have a lot of AoE.
Rally Haven
A holy army seeking to bring down those who would stand against the righteousness of Havencraft! Their numbers and their faith are their weapons
A midrange deck built around Rally and Goddess of the West Wind. A strong deck that can overwhelm a lot of slower decks and decks tha don't generate enough tempo. Goddess of the West Wind, Set and Noah being the core of the deck.
Control Haven
The righteous Judgement of one god shines burning light down on the enemies of the Divine as everything else is banished away
A control deck built around Ra and a lot of removal. A less played deck and more skill intensive. But in the right hands can perform well, but does see less play than both Sanctuary and Rally as it does end up lacking a more offensive gameplan.
Ward Haven
A host of Shielded warriors, these holy knights will stop at nothing to protect the weak and innocent!
A midrange deck built around wards. A solid deck but one that does rely a bit on highrolling and in the current meta does have issues with the top decks. Also Wilbert will be rotating out at the end of the expansion.
Portalcraft
In the Vertex Colony, high in orbit over a long dead world. Many of its passages unexplored and abandonded for centuries. Yet strangely, dust never accumulates. Today we find that Lishenna decided to show off and so assembled everyone for a great dance contest to determine who is the best dancer (obviously thinking she'd win it easily).. Turns out her dance skills are nothing compared to Yuwans. Apparently working for Nerva gives you some real smooth moves.
For Portalcraft Rally Portal continues rule from beyond the outer stars, followed by Evolve Portal and Artifact Portal. Portal continues to struggle a bit, lacking stronger plays for the class in general. Though still has some diversity at least.
Rally Portal
A shambling horde of puppets, mastered by some unknown puppeteer. What sinister purpose do they work towards ?
A midrange deck built around Rally and Destruction. A decent deck that continues to perform alright in capable hands. There is some light experimentation with the deck, but so far nothing solid.
Evolve Portal
Wonderous warriors, their movements refined beyond belief, their skills beyond peer. What sort of bargains must they have made to attain them ?
A control combo deck built around Evolve synergies. A decent yet skill intensive deck that mostly exists on the fringes of the meta.
Artifact Portal
Mysterious machines and artifacts, their origin unknown, their method of propulsion.. alien. What secrets do they hide ?
A midrange deck built around Artifacts. A fringe deck at the moment, lacking more payoffs for its artifacts currently. The deck being more skill intensive as well finds itself played by a small dedicated cadre.
So there you have it. Meta continues to very slowly evolve, with decks responding and changing. And we even see a new one here and there. A bit impressive for sure and certainly one suspects there might be a few surprises to go.
That said with an update coming soon we could see a balance update as well. Dragon, Shadow and Forest would be the likely candidates for a nerf. But there's also a chance we may just see some buffs instead, as Cygames does seem to prefer doing that if it can get away with it. That said, nothing may also happen. As there is a fair amount of deck diversity going about at the moment and no deck is showing really dangerous patterns from what i can tell. So we'll have to see tomorrow what is posted if anything is. Since Cygames does seem to be getting more cagey about things like that as of late.
But until next week, have fun playing Shadowverse!

Just discovered WSB 4 days ago and today this subreddit and gotta admit this is all pretty funny. I still hold a lot of shares bought at 320$. I know, this is pretty retarded, but I dont really give a fuck about the money. Seems like a lot of you guys sold because the price dropped too much, and you were afraid to lose more money. WSB probably called you a paper handed bitch, even though this seems reasonable. But this never had anything to do with investment. This was always an attempt to exploit a loophole in the market called a short squeeze. It was a pure gambling bet. You win or lose, you get rich or hit 0. Did the short squeeze happen? Maybe. If not, it could still happen. It could also NOT happen. Is it a pyramid scheme? Maybe. But that claim is just speculation, just like everything on WSB. Seems like a lot of you think you escaped a toxic reddit group and FOUND THE TRUTH in here. But in reality you got cold feet and sold your shares, and you came here for comfort. Maybe you were right to sell, but you will be fucking sorry if WSB turns out to be right. At the end of the day, if you were not willing to hit 0, YOU SHOULDNT HAVE FUCKING BOUGHT IT. End of story. So stop seeking the truth in these fucking groups, and STAY THE FUCK OUT OF WSB trying to discourage people, as well as WSB shouldnt try to make you guys buy more shares. Let WSB play their casino. If you Guys are like WSB, you delete this post. WSB deletes everything that doesnt support their narrative, but honestly i expect you Guys to be just the same as them. God i fucking hate humans ;)

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trap,sky,cheese,vine,clown,catfish,snowman,bowl,waffle,vegetable,hook,shadow,dinosaur,lane,dance,scarf,cabin,Tweety,bookshelf,swordfish,skyline,base,straw,biscuit,Greece,bleach,pepper,reflection,universe,skateboarder,triplets,gold chain,electric car,policeman,electricity,mother,Bambi,croissant,Ireland,sandbox,stadium,depressed,Johnny Bravo,silverware,raspberry,dandruff,Scotland,comic book,cylinder,Milky Way,taxi driver,magic trick,sunrise,popcorn,eat,cola,cake,pond,mushroom,rocket,surfboard,baby,cape,glasses,sunburn,chef,gate,charger,crack,mohawk,triangle,carpet,dessert,taser,afro,cobra,ringtone,cockroach,levitate,mailman,rockstar,lyrics,grumpy,stand,Norway,binoculars,nightclub,puppet,novel,injection,thief,pray,chandelier,exercise,lava lamp,lap,massage,thermometer,golf cart,postcard,bell pepper,bed bug,paintball,Notch,yogurt,graffiti,burglar,butler,seafood,Sydney Opera House,Susan Wojcicki,parents,bed sheet,Leonardo da Vinci,intersection,palace,shrub,lumberjack,relationship,observatory,junk food,eye,log,dice,bicycle,pineapple,camera,circle,lemonade,soda,comb,cube,Doritos,love,table,honey,lighter,broccoli,fireplace,drive,Titanic,backpack,emerald,giraffe,world,internet,kitten,volume,Spain,daughter,armor,noob,rectangle,driver,raccoon,bacon,lady,bull,camping,poppy,snowball,farmer,lasso,breakfast,oxygen,milkman,caveman,laboratory,bandage,neighbor,Cupid,Sudoku,wedding,seagull,spatula,atom,dew,fortress,vegetarian,ivy,snowboard,conversation,treasure,chopsticks,garlic,vacuum,swimsuit,divorce,advertisement,vuvuzela,Mr Bean,Fred Flintstone,pet food,upgrade,voodoo,punishment,Charlie Chaplin,Rome,graduation,beatbox,communism,yeti,ear,dots,octagon,kite,lion,winner,muffin,cupcake,unicorn,smoke,lime,monster,Mars,moss,summer,lollipop,coffin,paint,lottery,wife,pirate,sandwich,lantern,seahorse,Cuba,archer,sweat,deodorant,plank,Steam,birthday,submarine,zombie,casino,gas,stove,helmet,mosquito,ponytail,corpse,subway,spy,jump rope,baguette,grin,centipede,gorilla,website,text,workplace,bookmark,anglerfish,wireless,Zorro,sports,abstract,detective,Amsterdam,elevator,chimney,reindeer,Singapore,perfume,soldier,bodyguard,magnifier,freezer,radiation,assassin,yawn,backbone,disaster,giant,pillow fight,grasshopper,Vin Diesel,geyser,burrito,celebrity,Lasagna,Pumba,karaoke,hypnotize,platypus,Leonardo DiCaprio,bird bath,battleship,back pain,rapper,werewolf,Black Friday,cathedral,Sherlock Holmes,ABBA,hard hat,sword,mirror,toilet,eggplant,jelly,hero,starfish,bread,snail,person,plunger,computer,nosebleed,goat,joker,sponge,mop,owl,beef,portal,genie,crocodile,murderer,magic,pine,winter,robber,pepperoni,shoebox,fog,screen,son,folder,mask,Goofy,Mercury,zipline,wall,dragonfly,zipper,meatball,slingshot,Pringles,circus,mammoth,nugget,mousetrap,recycling,revolver,champion,zigzag,meat,drought,vodka,notepad,porcupine,tuba,hacker,broomstick,kitchen,cheesecake,satellite,JayZ,squirrel,leprechaun,jello,gangster,raincoat,eyeshadow,shopping,gardener,scythe,portrait,jackhammer,allergy,honeycomb,headache,Miniclip,Mona Lisa,cheetah,virtual reality,virus,Argentina,blanket,military,headband,superpower,language,handshake,reptile,thirst,fake teeth,duct tape,macaroni,color-blind,comfortable,Robbie Rotten,coast guard,cab driver,pistachio,Angelina Jolie,autograph,sea lion,Morse code,clickbait,star,girl,lemon,alarm,shoe,soap,button,kiss,grave,telephone,fridge,katana,switch,eraser,signature,pasta,flamingo,crayon,puzzle,hard,juice,socks,crystal,telescope,galaxy,squid,tattoo,bowling,lamb,silver,lid,taxi,basket,step,stapler,pigeon,zoom,teacher,holiday,score,Tetris,frame,garden,stage,unicycle,cream,sombrero,error,battle,starfruit,hamster,chalk,spiral,bounce,hairspray,lizard,victory,balance,hexagon,Ferrari,MTV,network,weapon,fist fight,vault,mattress,viola,birch,stereo,Jenga,plug,chihuahua,plow,pavement,wart,ribbon,otter,magazine,Bomberman,vaccine,elder,Romania,champagne,semicircle,Suez Canal,Mr Meeseeks,villain,inside,spade,gravedigger,Bruce Lee,gentle,stingray,can opener,funeral,jet ski,wheelbarrow,thug,undo,fabulous,space suit,cappuccino,Minotaur,skydiving,cheerleader,Stone Age,Chinatown,razorblade,crawl space,cauldron,trick shot,Steve Jobs,audience,time machine,sewing machine,face paint,truck driver,x-ray,fly,salt,spider,boy,dollar,turtle,book,chain,dolphin,sing,milk,wing,pencil,snake,scream,toast,vomit,salad,radio,potion,dominoes,balloon,monkey,trophy,feather,leash,loser,bite,notebook,happy,Mummy,sneeze,koala,tired,sick,pipe,jalapeno,diaper,deer,priest,youtuber,boomerang,pro,ruby,hop,hopscotch,barcode,vote,wrench,tissue,doll,clownfish,halo,Monday,tentacle,grid,Uranus,oil,scarecrow,tarantula,germ,glow,haircut,Vatican,tape,judge,cell,diagonal,science,mustard,fur,janitor,ballerina,pike,nun,chime,tuxedo,Cerberus,panpipes,surface,coal,knot,willow,pajamas,fizz,student,eclipse,asteroid,Portugal,pigsty,brand,crowbar,chimpanzee,Chuck Norris,raft,carnival,treadmill,professor,tricycle,apocalypse,vitamin,orchestra,groom,cringe,knight,litter box,macho,brownie,hummingbird,Hula Hoop,motorbike,type,catapult,take off,wake up,concert,floppy disk,BMX,bulldozer,manicure,brainwash,William Wallace,guinea pig,motherboard,wheel,brick,egg,lava,queen,gold,God,ladder,coin,laptop,toaster,butter,bag,doctor,sit,tennis,half,Bible,noodle,golf,eagle,cash,vampire,sweater,father,remote,safe,jeans,darts,graph,nothing,dagger,stone,wig,cupboard,minute,match,slime,garage,tomb,soup,bathroom,llama,shampoo,swan,frown,toolbox,jacket,adult,crate,quill,spin,waiter,mint,kangaroo,captain,loot,maid,shoelace,luggage,cage,bagpipes,loaf,aircraft,shelf,safari,afterlife,napkin,steam,coach,slope,marigold,Mozart,bumper,Asterix,vanilla,papaya,ostrich,failure,scoop,tangerine,firefly,centaur,harbor,uniform,Beethoven,Intel,moth,Spartacus,fluid,acid,sparkles,talent show,ski jump,polo,ravioli,delivery,woodpecker,logo,Stegosaurus,diss track,Darwin Watterson,filmmaker,silence,dashboard,echo,windshield,Home Alone,tablecloth,backflip,headboard,licorice,sunshade,Picasso,airbag,water cycle,meatloaf,insomnia,broom,whale,pie,demon,bed,braces,fence,orange,sleep,gift,Popsicle,spear,zebra,Saturn,maze,chess,wire,angel,skates,pyramid,shower,claw,hell,goal,bottle,dress,walk,AC/DC,tampon,goatee,prince,flask,cut,cord,roof,movie,ash,tiger,player,magician,wool,saddle,cowboy,derp,suitcase,sugar,nest,anchor,onion,magma,limbo,collar,mole,bingo,walnut,wealth,security,leader,melt,Gandhi,arch,toy,turd,scientist,hippo,glue,kneel,orbit,below,totem,health,towel,diet,crow,addiction,minigolf,clay,boar,navy,butcher,trigger,referee,bruise,translate,yearbook,confused,engine,poke,wreath,omelet,gravity,bride,godfather,flu,accordion,engineer,cocoon,minivan,bean bag,antivirus,billiards,rake,cement,cauliflower,espresso,violence,blender,chew,bartender,witness,hobbit,corkscrew,chameleon,cymbal,Excalibur,grapefruit,action,outside,guillotine,timpani,frostbite,leave,Mont Blanc,palette,electrician,fitness trainer,journalist,fashion designer,bucket,penguin,sheep,torch,robot,peanut,UFO,belt,Earth,magnet,dragon,soccer,desk,search,seal,scribble,gender,food,anvil,crust,bean,hockey,pot,pretzel,needle,blimp,plate,drool,frog,basement,idea,bracelet,cork,sauce,gang,sprinkler,shout,morning,poodle,karate,bagel,wolf,sausage,heat,wasp,calendar,tadpole,religion,hose,sleeve,acorn,sting,market,marble,comet,pain,cloth,drawer,orca,hurdle,pinball,narwhal,pollution,metal,race,end,razor,dollhouse,distance,prism,pub,lotion,vanish,vulture,beanie,burp,periscope,cousin,customer,label,mold,kebab,beaver,spark,meme,pudding,almond,mafia,gasp,nightmare,mermaid,season,gasoline,evening,eel,cast,hive,beetle,diploma,jeep,bulge,wrestler,Anubis,mascot,spinach,hieroglyph,anaconda,handicap,walrus,blacksmith,robin,reception,invasion,fencing,sphinx,evolution,brunette,traveler,jaguar,diagram,hovercraft,parade,dome,credit,tow truck,shallow,vlogger,veterinarian,furniture,commercial,cyborg,scent,defense,accident,marathon,demonstration,NASCAR,Velociraptor,pharmacist,Xerox,gentleman,dough,rhinoceros,air conditioner,poop,clock,carrot,cherry,candle,boots,target,wine,die,moon,airplane,think,pause,pill,pocket,Easter,horse,child,lamp,pillow,yolk,potato,pickle,nurse,ham,ninja,screw,board,pin,lettuce,console,climb,goose,bill,tortoise,sink,ski,glitter,miner,parrot,clap,spit,wiggle,peacock,roll,ballet,ceiling,celebrate,blind,yacht,addition,flock,powder,paddle,harpoon,kraken,baboon,antenna,classroom,bronze,writer,Obelix,touch,sensei,rest,puma,dent,shake,goblin,laundry,cloak,detonate,Neptune,cotton,generator,canary,horsewhip,racecar,Croatia,tip,cardboard,commander,seasick,anthill,vinegar,hippie,dentist,animation,Slinky,wallpaper,pendulum,vertical,chestplate,anime,beanstalk,survivor,florist,faucet,spore,risk,wonderland,wrestling,hazelnut,cushion,W-LAN,mayor,community,raisin,udder,oyster,sew,hazard,curry,pastry,mime,victim,mechanic,hibernate,bouncer,Iron Giant,floodlight,pear,sad,paw,space,bullet,skribbl.io,shirt,cow,worm,king,tea,truck,pants,hashtag,DNA,bird,Monster,beer,curtain,tire,nachos,bear,cricket,teapot,nerd,deaf,fruit,meteorite,rice,sniper,sale,gnome,shock,shape,alligator,meal,nickel,party,hurt,Segway,Mr. Bean,banker,cartoon,double,hammock,juggle,pope,leak,room,throne,hoof,radar,wound,luck,swag,panther,flush,Venus,disease,fortune,porch,machine,pilot,copper,mantis,keg,biology,wax,gloss,leech,sculpture,pelican,trapdoor,plague,quilt,yardstick,lounge,teaspoon,broadcast,uncle,comedian,mannequin,peasant,streamer,oar,drama,cornfield,carnivore,wingnut,vent,cabinet,vacation,applause,vision,radish,picnic,Skrillex,jester,preach,armadillo,hyena,librarian,interview,sauna,surgeon,dishrag,manatee,symphony,queue,industry,Atlantis,excavator,canister,model,flight attendant,ghost,pig,key,banana,tomato,axe,line,present,duck,alien,peas,gem,web,grapes,corn,can,fairy,camel,paper,beak,corner,penny,dig,link,donkey,fox,rug,drip,hunter,horn,purse,gumball,pony,musket,flea,kettle,rooster,balcony,seesaw,stork,dinner,greed,bait,duel,trap,heist,origami,skunk,coaster,leather,socket,fireside,cannon,ram,filter,alpaca,Zelda,condiment,server,antelope,emu,chestnut,dalmatian,swarm,sloth,reality,Darwin,torpedo,toucan,pedal,tabletop,frosting,bellow,vortex,bayonet,margarine,orchid,beet,journey,slam,marmalade,employer,stylus,spoiler,repeat,tiramisu,cuckoo,collapse,eskimo,assault,orangutan,wrapping,albatross,mothball,evaporate,turnip,puffin,reeds,receptionist,impact,dispenser,nutshell,procrastination,architect,programmer,bricklayer,boat,bell,ring,fries,money,chair,door,bee,tail,ball,mouse,rat,window,peace,nut,blush,page,toad,hug,ace,tractor,peach,whisk,hen,day,shy,lawyer,rewind,tripod,trailer,hermit,welder,festival,punk,handle,protest,lens,attic,foil,promotion,work,limousine,patriot,badger,studio,athlete,quokka,trend,pinwheel,gravel,fabric,lemur,provoke,rune,display,nail file,embers,asymmetry,actor,carpenter,aristocrat,Zuma,chinchilla,archaeologist,apple,hat,sun,box,cat,cup,train,bunny,sound,run,barrel,barber,grill,read,family,moose,boil,printer,poster,sledge,nutmeg,heading,cruise,pillar,retail,monk,spool,catalog,scuba,anteater,pensioner,coyote,vise,bobsled,purity,tailor,meerkat,weasel,invention,lynx,kendama,zeppelin,patient,gladiator,slump,Capricorn,baklava,prune,stress,crucible,hitchhiker,election,caviar,marmot,hair roller,pistol,cone,ant,lock,hanger,cap,Mr. Meeseeks,comedy,coat,tourist,tickle,facade,shrew,diva,patio,apricot,spelunker,parakeet,barbarian,tumor,figurine,desperate,landlord,bus,mug,dog,shark,abyss,betray

Hi everyone! My name is Mingos. You may have seen me around twitch and discord spamming in chat and worshipping Ludia. I like deck building games and I was a consistent legend hearthstone and top 20 Pokémon doubles player.
I took to Mythic last night on day 4 of starting the game (shoutouts to CopperPitch, BBQ, vhirvi, cautionfun, Professerf, DrStned, Meals, and everyone who has tuned in the stream to give me their wisdom) and I’d like to give some feedback and my thoughts on the game as a whole!
Gameplay
The gameplay is very dynamic and fist clenching and it brought back a lot of fond memories of me playing CCGs in the past and it was an absolute blast to go through the ranks! The gameplay functions incredibly similar to hearthstone – where each creature has an attack & health and upon receiving an attack, health is deducted with the creature dying once health reaches 0. There is nothing wrong with this style of combat but I was hoping that it had a little more distinction as games like yugioh, Pokémon TCG and MTG all have their own take on the combat system.
In saying that, the game has this thing called the sanctum – a shared pool of cards that players can choose upon appeasing their gods. I was initially very skeptical of this mechanic because it was advertised that Gods Unchained would have less RNG compared to other games and having random cards in a pool available each game? Lunacy. However, I have learned to realize that this sanctum adds a special flavor to the game. As it is available to both players, players can deny cards and out-maneuver the opponent. Simultaneously, it contains some “answers” such as relic removal for when an enemy draws an amazing relic early.
Finally, we have a modified mana system – you get increasing amount of resources each turn to play more cards. However, starting from the 6th mana, subsequent turns will only unlock a fraction of the mana with the full mana crystal unlocked after 2, 2, 3, 4 turns for mana 6, 7, 8, 9, respectively. I will go into detail about this in the balance section.
Gods
Currently there are 6 gods in the game, each with their god powers that you can choose (per game). It is quite likely that I don’t have access to the suite of cards available to each god and being a beginner certainly doesn’t help. My thoughts on the cards has been that they lack a bit of flavor and distinction to the gods. Take for example god of death who has more cards built around death, the void and afterlife, we would have cards like “Made Mark” belonging to god of deception when I think that’d be perfect for god of death. There are certain archetypes that are more accessible pertaining to the various gods but as a deckbuilder I feel that the synergies around these archetypes are not very well defined from a lore perspective. I am sure as more cards are added into the game, the more tools we will receive to explore these archetypes further.
Balance
I have a lot to say about this but I will only talk about the few main points. It feels like to me a lot of the card power is inspired by hearthstone and there is nothing wrong with that. As a theory crafter I look at each card’s worth by simply going mana cost + 1 i.e. a 1 cost should have about 2/2 of stats or value equivalent, 2 cost 3/3 and so on. The complication comes once we get to 6 mana and beyond where the value curve gets a bit out of hand. Looking through the cards, the value of 6 mana cards roughly follow the formula above and that feels a bit undervalued given that 6 mana comes online at turn 7. This is interesting because that means even control decks are pressured to put in a healthy amount (or maybe majority) of cards that are 5 cost or below. Since you would be mana locked pre turn 7 to 5 mana or below to stabilize. Looking through GUdecks it appears to me that 6+ cost cards are only picked when they are outliers such as legendaries or limited cards with the ability to develop even more value to win a game of attrition. Now conversely, if we look at the lower cost creatures, we have cards like switch duelist, pyramid warden, jinxblade duelist which present strong early game value or just a straight up threat that demands instant removal before snowball. Certainly, these cards are top tier cards and outliers but if we look at the upper mana costs, we have much fewer cases to draw examples from.
Most gods have a strong aoe board clear around 6th mana but lets evaluate that a little bit. Taking into account the extra mana we get, if we go first we would have a total of 27 mana before the opponent gets 6 mana. Conversely, 23 if we go second. That means if we can yield approx. 1.5 damage for each mana spent then we can win the game before turn 7. With cards like makeshift shiv or ritual rod which presents 5 and 6 points of damage, respectively, that is certainly not a problem once you have an optimized deck.
I do want to preface I am simply a new player and my point is simply that I feel the 6+ cost cards presently seem a bit undervalued, in their board presence and reactive abilities.
Community
Never change! EVERYONE has been amazing! Everyone has been incredibly supportive, from the players to the devs. I think the community is what made it so fun for me as it has.
Closing
If you have read this far, thanks! I have genuinely and thoroughly enjoyed the game and there are things that I chose to not address like UI and bugs because I am aware that the devs are aware of those issues as they are more directly attributed to player retention. Thanks for all your hard work! I also want to mention again these are just my thoughts as a fairly new player and from a beginner perspective only. One important thing I forgot to mention is that players get to KEEP their cards which is one of the driving points of the game and I hope the game gets more traction as it becomes more developed.
I often play deck builder games and occasionally play some music on stream. Feel free to reach out to me to ask about anything related to the game, your casino deck that you have built or anything else, or just say hi. I enjoy chatting and getting to know people so just having twitch chat send memes would be a blessing https://www.twitch.tv/mmmmingos.
Take care and peace out!

RR link
Previous chapter (RETRO COSMOS)
​ #2 - THE TWISTED HEIST ​
A star had just gone out in the distance, sending its entire system, planets and moons, into oblivion. So, what was a simple life compared to a sun? Did the human existence that earthlings highly cherished in the past deserve so much fuss?
I would say no, of course, because I’m a cat. Our condition to us felines will never have to pale in front of a shiny astronomical object. Mine specifically, don’t you think?
Oswald Avery was merely a Homo sapiens. A retired buccaneer, fermenting his adulterated wine on the carcass of a drifting supercargo; all under the remodeled features of a former Galactic Trade Company’s pilot. Alas, regardless of the genetic disguise, the FID rarely lied. It hadn’t fooled us and the masks had fallen off. Just like him.
I’m such a poet.
Anyway… Avery had had a long life of crimes and adventures. He was full of energy in his youth. And as in the universe, nothing is lost, nothing is created, everything is transformed, this energy was reincarnated in a nice amount in our bank account once the old picaroon flatlined.
“We finally got it! And it was a traditional Martian contract. Payable remotely, on condition that the FID is validated. How about that?”
“God… Lee … you’re talking to yourself and it’s only 8 a.m.,” Ali grunted behind me.
My couch potato of an associate had her head still stuck in the cereal box she was nibbling before falling asleep binge-watching Captain Caveman on ABC.
“To begin with, it’s 8 p.m., Martian Time. And we do have a positive balance in our bank account for the first time in months! Do you know what that means, partner?”
“Shopping, bitches!” she shouted as she hurled herself into the void, gliding to the bathroom in the weightlessness.
With the cardboard box on the top of her head, this sugar bishop was swimming after the remnant cereals that floated on her path like Ms. Pac-Man.
“Hell! Have I just opened Pandora’s box?”
The liner Danaë and its forty-eight post-nuclear Baltimore-XVIII heavy reactors made its annual cruise from Lunapolis to the suburbs of Ceres, in the belt. Its figurehead with the effigy of the Greek princess was a two hundred meters long, green ceramic statue. The size of the ship exceeded some inhabited asteroids’ diameter so it possessed its own substantial gravitational field.
“It’s quite a symbol of the decline of humanity,” I said to Ali, pointing with my chin at this unique work of art.
“Why?” my partner asked without caring whatsoever. “Spill the beans, Plato.”
The Kitty had obtained permission to dock and began its approach. I concluded then:
“Humanity no longer erects great and beautiful things without turning them into a shopping mall.”
The gold and ivory Danaë was one of the most luxurious epicenters of human decadence in the system; comprising hotels, casinos, megastores and amusement parks spread over a dozen centrifugal rings. There was something for everyone’s wallet, ready to be emptied, whether one was welcomed at the port or had joined during the crossing.
And to my great regret, the cape of the Danaë was just passing by us that week.
“I believe we should keep our savings for the maintenance of the Swallow. The dashboard lights up like a Christmas tree. Some parts need to be changed…”
“You’re such a bore with your adult talks,” my partner said as she left the fitting room of a luxury chain overlooking the main deck. “What do you think of that? Sexy as fuck, right?”
Her camisole didn’t hide a single inch square of flesh and I subtly pointed it out to her:
“It’s a bit of a back-alley Sally.”
I took a blow on the nose which, this time, was amply justified.
“There’s nothing chicer than Borderline. You don’t know anything about fashion. It’s crazy!”
She was furious. It was entertaining. But she was right. The human female fads were way over my head and I wasn’t a good adviser. Mostly because I didn’t care. At all.
Fortunately, the upscale shopping mall where we were staying had provided us with a free assistant who was even more servile than a decerebrate canine. As usual, the robot carrier that accompanied us did the job by flattering her with its unbearable honeyed tone:
“I find you charming, Madame. Here we have the latest fashionable lingerie on Mars. It’s an ephemeral collection that appears to have been specially made to mold your discreet curves, which seem to have been sculpted by the seraphim.”
Ali gave me a satisfied look that I pretended to ignore. Then she backtracked into the fitting room to put her black suit and pink jacket back on.
I took the opportunity to climb on the shoulders of this silly robot, servant of our servants and last link in this hierarchy whose origins go back to Ancient Egypt.
“One more move like this and I’ll turn you into a gum dispenser.”
The automaton apologized before my partner’s head emerged from behind the silk curtains which were far too fragrant for my taste.
“I just checked; it’s too expensive anyway. I ain’t buying it,” she announced. “Can you order a taxicab to take us to the hotels’ ring? You’d be a sweetheart.”
Happy to leave this irascible human with her robotic slave, I proceeded to the nearest service terminal. By the time I requested a vehicle, a flying cigarette dispenser could light me a Lucky.
“It’s forbidden to smoke in our store, Monsieur.”
The customer attaché, in his blue silk suit with elephant legs, had appeared out of nowhere. Yet, with such a shiny tie, this punk should have dazzled me from the Kuiper belt.
“Please be kind and get me a Pepper Coke instead of ruining my eyesight…” I grumbled in response.
I was in an awful mood. I definitely hated shopping. And people. Yet the pedestrian avenues of the Danaë had a very exceptional population density. Perms were making a strong comeback, as were neon tattoos and overly open flowered shirts. Under the false UVA/B sun, it was a true dance of flesh, steel and plastic bodies with assumed nudity. Implants and surgery erased the hazards of the genetic lottery for better or worse. It was so superficial. So futile. So human.
“Hello, handsome!” Ali cried out, a large smile across her face. “Lee? You didn’t tell me you knew Christophe Lambert! You know I'm a huge Highlander fan!”
My partner had just joined me, arms loaded with bags massive enough to live in it, start a family and park my chromic Pontiac Firebird. All were filled with C$400 t-shirts and sneakers that she didn’t need and would only put on once.
“No smell. Hologram,” I conclude by throwing my cigarette butt through the smiling ghost.
“Shame!” Ali sighed.
She then looked at her terminal, and continued:
“Do you think I have time to grab a watch module? There are sales in the Japanese aisle! I saw some GD-8 that would go well with my new Game Pocket! This boat is fucking rad!”
Ali could not stop humming Who wants to live forever. I had to rub my temples to avoid a migraine before the arrival of our taxicab five minutes later.
These were miniature limousines with double fake leather benches, facing each other at the back. There was a minibar with expensive multicolored drinks and sugar-soaked snacks, the sapiens’ primary source of calories and high Gs space travel drug. For the sensitive, the smart-fridge provided diet sodas with aspartame, but no one took it. Finally, there were free Gauloise cigarettes next to the ashtray on the armrest. And even Tylenol!
“What a time to be alive!”
Right after leaving the fashion district, a soft voice of a young woman, who appeared to us through the armored porthole separating her from her customers, finally emerged from the cockpit:
“Good evening! I’m Miss Meera. At your service. Hotel de Saint-Malo, correct?”
I nodded. She smiled at us. She was beautiful with her incredibly dark night metal skin that contrasted strongly with her silvery-white hair. She also had charming ivory eyes with absolutely no reflection. They were a mesmerizing void of light.
In fact, it was so rare to deal with a real person, and not an AI, that we engaged rapidly in a lovely and honest discussion with Meera. We were mostly talking about life on the Danaë. As she stated, the rules on board were very strict, even military. All was done to make sure that the customer had the most pleasant time at the expense of everything else. Finally, according to her, her condition wasn’t the most to be pitied in the cosmos. And she was fully satisfied with this precarious semi-nomadic existence.
“And what about you? Are you here on vacation or in transit for work?” she eventually asked. “What do you do for a living?”
Should we have told her that we were executing infamous people so Ali would collect expensive t-shirts and I could fulfill my nicotine addiction?
“Don’t get me wrong but I saw that you had a gun. Are you in the police… or are you pirates?”
It wasn’t the first time someone asked us this question. Although weapons were allowed on most ships and stations, it wasn’t wise to display them unless you were looking for trouble. Unfortunately, hiding such a large caliber under such a tight vest was a Herculean task.
“You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone”, simply quoted Ali, her forehead against the window covered with scented stickers.
Meera laughed before continuing:
“Very well, Al Capone. I understand that you’re not the type to let yourself be taken advantage of.”
The taxicab entered the central expressway after the water park then suddenly swerved violently to the left.
“What is going on?” I gasped.
After crushing the safety railing, we fell from one rotating bridge to the other in a frantic cavalcade. Judging by Meera’s swear words, this ride wasn’t part of the show.
Avoiding the stalls of an art market and a group of children coming out of an arcade, the driver finally managed to recover in extremis. It was about time, because within seconds we were passing through the transparent protective wall of the hotels’ deck.
“A thousand apologies! Another one of those mor… clients from the Middle System who doesn’t know how to use a rental car,” she shouted through the window. “Are you guys hurt?”
“No, thanks to you,” I replied, my tail spiked over my head, taped to Ali’s neck now decorated with bloody scratches.
Although my human forehead now had a bump on it the size of a golf ball, it was true that Meera had just saved our lives. This young girl had unsuspected driving talents despite taxicabs’ lack of handling. She didn’t belong here, playing the steward in a yellow circus uniform. This woman should have been a fighter pilot; or a NASCAR driver on Canyon Creek.
“In any case, here you’re almost in front of your hotel,” she replied. “You don’t have to pay anything, and I apologize again for the scare.”
From the outside, the taxicab now looked like a can of nutrigel after going through a crusher. Yet, it still worked. May God Darwin bless Venusian steel.
After thanking her, we wished Meera a good day. But the cockpit window suddenly went down on the passenger side. The smile of the driver had faded. She had tears at the corner of her white eyes.
“Wait!” she asked. “This weapon… do you really know how to use it?”
So, life on the Danaë wasn’t so sweet. As Meera explained to us in a secluded alleyway, a trio of criminals had come to threaten her a few days earlier, after finding she was a bodacious driver. They were preparing a heist in one of the flying city’s fifty casinos. The young woman was now ready to pay the price to settle the case.
“What is your opinion about this whole situation?” I asked Ali, once in our room, a small yet cozy suite whose glass walls overlooked the vacuum of space.
My human had applied a brownish ointment on her hump, which disappeared soon after, leaving only a slight pinkish hematoma.
“Meera said she would provide us with more details tomorrow. However, if she ponies up the cash, I don’t see why we would refuse. We ain’t mercs but these three guys must have a bounty on their heads. Let’s do our job, right?
“Indeed…”
All we had to do was wait for more instructions. Fortunately, it had been months since we had been able to take days off except on miserable gas stations full of drug addicts, implants scavengers and prostitutes.
After another morning of shopping, Ali went to the thalassotherapy center of the neighboring hotel. Her main occupation? Overeating sushi made by 3D nutrigel printing while getting massages.
Alas, I didn’t have the time to bask under the false sun of the lakeside resort and get my belly stroked. As a good captain, I had to go to the maintenance to fix the numerous damages of the Kitty. As always, the bill would be higher than expected.
Everything was orchestrated so that we would never hold a positive balance in this corrupted system. We had to chain contract after contract.
But Meera’s gig didn’t sound right. There was something I didn’t like and I couldn’t catch it yet. All my cat sensors were in the red. Unfortunately, the bounty hunter’s ones only saw the green of the bills.
Don’t judge me.
The young taxicab driver had finally contacted Ali again by holoconference in the early afternoon, shortly before I joined her at the exit of the tanning booths. Or as I called them: human toasters.
“Have you finished roasting like a Thanksgiving turkey?” I asked her as she plunged into the icy water of the adjacent basin, under the lustful gaze of a group of cadets from the Marine Academy.
“Meera will pick us up with a new taxicab in the hotel parking lot,” she whispered once back to me. “Alongside her, we will meet two of the criminals at the burglary location, shortly before midnight.”
“Go on.”
“We take care of these guys and we catch up with the last one: the band leader, in the storage cavities of the hangar reserved for the ship’s logistics. Below the last rotating ring.”
In Eve’s costume, Ali came out of the basin, not without deliberately drenching me. The water had a nasty chemical taste from being filtered day after day.
“Do you have any intelligence on these jokers?” I insisted while lighting a cigarette.
“The Broadway Gang. Three brothers. C$45,000 for the trio. We will also be able to recover at least C$10,000 of Techno-federal tax on their ship depending on its condition. Easy cash with the dollar credits that Meera promises us…”
Now sitting on the ledge, my partner splashed her feet to demonstrate her eagerness to head back swimming.
“Excellent! This will pay for the maintenance and allow us to save some money on our way to the belt.”
“Can I go now?” she asked, sliding back into the water.
“You may,” I had concluded before seeing her leave for her absurd wanderings that would fill her afternoon.
I myself was very busy making eyes at the wealthy guests of the hotel restaurant to glean a few pieces of Peking duck or juicy crabs. They were real farm animals from Mars. Not nutrigel. It was worth abandoning a little dignity aside.
With a full belly, I finally joined Ali in the middle of the evening. Arriving in the corridor of our suite, I crossed the group of cadets noticed near the swimming pool. They seemed tired but blissfully smiling as they just discovered the nirvana. And I knew why…
“Ali? Are you ready?” I said as I walked through the half-open bedroom door.
Her dressing gown had been thrown on the floor. Her gun and badge were resting on the bedside table against a giant bottle of Koala Springs soda and a pyramid of little Yoyo Mints.
To be honest, I expected a bigger mess.
“Gimme five minutes,” she replied while in the shower.
An hour later, we met Meera in the staff parking lot behind the recycling stations. Without further discussion, we joined the expressway in the taxicab. Between two noisy info-ads, the radio played Sweet Transvestite then the rest of the mythical Rocky Horror soundtrack.
“I wonder what Tim Curry’s up to these days,” asked Ali while browsing the intraweb on her implant.
“Being legendary as usual,” I answered.
Afterwards, the casino was in sight. But once on the forecourt illuminated by the gold and silver bulbs, we heard gunshots and screams. My partner and I quickly realized that this was a violent robbery rather than a modest heist.
“What the fuck, Meera?” Ali asked, turning to the porthole that separated us from the cockpit.
There was a hint of irritation in her voice.
Meera remained mute, her hands on the wheel and her gaze forward. In the rear-view mirror the young woman looked panicked.
The right door of the vehicle suddenly opened and two men sat down in front of us. They were wearing theater masks: the first was Melpomene, the sad grimace of tragedy; the second, Thalia, the twisted smile of comedy. Each brigand carried a huge metal block under his arm; drawers that were sure to be full of cash. On the other hand, they held their still smoking ZeG-4 machine guns even more firmly.
When they saw us, they both gasped, in unison:
“What the fuck, Meera?”
One… two. One… two.
Four holes in their faded tuxedo. Four bullets as big as a cat’s eye that silenced them forever, before slowly repainting the bench in red.
“What the fuck was that? You killed them!” Meera shouted this time, as she started the electric engine. “You had tasers at your disposal, you psychos!”
She had finally turned around. Her voice was quivering. She was no longer panicked, but angry.
The tasers must have slipped between the seats because I hadn’t seen them. My partner raised her eyebrows and it made me realize that their use had never been in mind.
“We’re bounty hunters, not 9 to 5 social workers!” continued Ali. “Now, you gotta motor, otherwise the cops will shoot our ass on the spot before we could even meet the third dude!”
Meera put her foot on the pedal and one could almost hear the noise of the thrusters melting the white asphalt.
“I can perceive the sirens, Ali,” I concluded before Meera entered the ring's external road reserved for logistic transport.
We then had the shortest car chase we had taken part in. The Danaë security forces may not have had the best elements in the system, but Meera’s talents didn’t give them a chance. We had crossed half a dozen rotative bridges to the rhythm of Take on Me, zigzagging between expressways and maintenance tunnels to arrive before the song ended at the deserted logistics hangar.
It was similar to a huge supermarket with honeycombed shelves. Each of these garages, dimly illuminated by red LEDs, housed a delivery or transport vessel. There was the most impressive fleet I had ever seen.
In one of the first level’s cells stood, between a set of clamps, a Swift-0 scout, from Peugeot Corp, with wings spread. The Swifts were small and very high-end single-seaters. They could be modified to integrate weapons systems, but their primary characteristics were velocity and evasion.
Leaning on the flank of the mono-turbine, the last of the three criminals, a tall blond man with a “Chevy Chase” prominent chin was looking down on the approaching taxicab.
“Were they planning to escape on that ship? The three of them?” I remarked when the vehicle stopped a few meters from the small vessel.
But Meera ignored me.
“Hand me the money, I’m going out. That was the agreement.”
The porthole opened at its base, allowing us to pass the steel cash drawers. Once the taxicab’s ignition was turned off, only their holographic numbers glowed in the dark.
“It’s all over if his cronies don’t stick their noses out of the car,” Ali replied, finally giving the second drawer away. “He’s going to figure out that it went south. He will kill you!”
Outside, the man was getting impatient. Blinded by the taxicab’s headlights, he came closer before exclaiming:
“Zéphyr, are you there? Where are my brothers? Security is closing all the departure modules. We will be stuck here, for fuck’s sake!”
He now had a gun in his hand. A machine gun identical to those of his companions currently bathed in their blood, nailed to the seats.
“Zéphyr? Wait… I know that name!” I meowed to myself.
The doors and portholes of the taxicab were locked. Ali and I were now stuck in the back with the two flatlined and most wanted criminals on the ship.
“Sorry guys, but I’ll handle the rest.”
Miss Meera, alias Zéphyr, smiled at us through the armored glass just before leaving the cockpit by the driver’s door.
“What a fucking piece of shit… Lee? Do you have a plan? I think the windows are bulletproof. I don’t feel like testing. Especially if it’s bouncing around with us inside, we will be turned into ground beef!”
“Did you forget who I am, my dear?”
I was already crawling under the seat, between a pair of Méduse shoes and half nibbled fried rat wings. It was time to demonstrate all my infiltration skills learned from Ninja Gaiden. Unfortunately, both the crab and the duck slowed me down and my belly remained for a few seconds stuck under the driver’s seat with my head on the brake pedal. How outrageous!
From the porthole, I saw Ali watching what was happening in front of us, near the ship. Our eyes met for a brief moment and I could read on her lips: “diet kibble”.
“Better off dead!” I shouted.
My paw reached the bottom of the dashboard, activating the mechanical opening of doors and windows. And, accidentally, the loudest horn in this dimension.
“My bad!”
My sapiens immediately jumped outside, pointing her gun to Zéphyr. Surprised by the thunderous din, her target pivoted towards us, uncovered, turning her back to the human with the magnificent chin and his ZeG-4 who yelled:
“What in the whole universe is that? Wait! I know her! Did you bring us bounty hunters? You were clearly planning to double-cross us!”
The man shouted and his gun produced a rain of bullets. It first hit the windshield of the taxicab, passing through the conductor compartment where I was. The rounds bent the windscreen, but it held. This wasn’t, however, the case for the hood, protecting the engine and the reservoir full of coolant, which ended up covering the seat and my face.
Fortunately, the sticky alcohol allowed me to escape from this trap and jump out of the vehicle through the window I had previously opened. But, once again, a fire ring enveloped the ZeG-4’s cannon.
“This is how I die…” I meowed, eyes closed.
I was violently tackled and hit the ground. Zéphyr had saved me at the last moment, just before bullets obliterated the front of the taxicab.
Other projectiles ricocheted off the metal money drawers on the floor and got lost in the ceiling, activating the fire sprinklers. This incident triggered a silent light alarm throughout the hangar while the mobster prepared a new salvo.
“Don’t hurt my pilot, you narbo!” roared my partner.
Ali, this time taken as a target, retaliated. She fired a single shot towards the rascal with a formidable precision. No one knew how to handle such a heavy gun as she did. She was my human. She was the best in her field: murder.
And I taught her everything. Almost.
The leader of the robbers tried to reload the magazine of his weapon, unaware that his heart had been punctured a few seconds before. Adrenaline was doing its job. But the blood loss caused by the explosion of the aorta at its base, near the ventricles, gradually stopped him in his gesture. His pressure dropped and the bloodstream no longer reached the brain sufficiently. He was already in a coma when his shoulders touched the ground. He was luckier than the average Joe and died a few seconds later.
“Is everything all right?”
My voice was trembling, still in shock from this disaster. I was wet and frozen.
Zéphyr got up with difficulty. Next to us, one of the metal drawers was opened, revealing a bunch of green bills and a much stranger booty: an eight-inch gold diskette with suspicious Chinese symbols.
Well… I couldn’t read them but Chinese symbols on stuff are always suspect, aren’t they?
But there were more important matters. Because my partner, on the other hand, stayed on the ground. Blood was dripping from her black suit and mixed with the clear firefighting fluid that was falling like an endless rain.
I tried to talk to her again but my voice was lost in a groan.
“Why are you whining, you big baby? It’s just blood.”
With her nose in a puddle, my sapiens smiled at me. Her left hand was compressing her abdomen. The bullet had passed through the external oblique muscle, far from the stomach.
It wasn’t that bad after all but she had scared me. And that deserved a scratch on the wrist that made her scream:
“What the fuck?”
“And the medical expenses? Have you thought about medical expenses? We don’t have insurance!”
“God, Uncle Scrooge! I hate you!”
“We won’t be able to fix the Kitty with your heroic outbursts!” I fulminated to mask my joy of seeing her in one piece.
“I will kill you, Muppet! I almost died! I don’t give a fuck about your rusty trash can which flies like a brick!”
It was true that we hadn’t had a fight for a long time.
“Guys…” intervened Zéphyr.
“What?”
Ali and I had spoken together.
“These three ruffians had planned to steal the diskette drive from me once I got back. I needed a hand, so… thank you… I guess.”
“You’re welcome,” my human answered dryly while sitting.
Although Zéphyr saved me, I didn’t share the same kindness:
“Wait, we’re not letting him go! Do you know who he is?”
Zéphyr. Prince of thieves. And yes, he wasn’t much of a princess either. Just an androgynous cyborg. A breakout king wanted throughout the entire system for his affiliation with the Data Brokers’ Guild. With an incredible bounty of C$800,000, she or he… whatever… was the knight of the brokers’ chessboard.
“I think we’ve had enough for today,” Ali said. “Unless you hope to go after him with these big fat guts of yours.”
“By the 79 moons of Jupiter, you shall pay for this, woman!” I meowed, angry.
My ears were backwards and my hairs were spiky. But soaking wet, it just made Ali and Zéphyr laugh.
Disgrace!
“He’s so cute when he’s furious,” he joked.
Now on his knees, the night-skinned androgynous was blotting Ali’s wound with a torn piece of fabric from his driver’s uniform.
“But more seriously, I need to go. With the bounty, you’ll be able to repair your vessel. As for the hospital fees, I will contact a good friend who will take care of you for free. She’s the ship’s chief medical officer.”
“Thank you,” I simply replied as he helped my partner get back on her feet.
“It’s the least I can do. I wasn’t interested in money. More important information is contained in this,” he said as he was picking up the floppy disk.
This golden diskette must have been worth a lot of cash for Zéphyr to play a taxicab driver to ensure coverage. I had perceived that something was fishy!
Then, halfway to his Swift-0, Zéphyr stopped. I witnessed his hesitation.
“There was nothing personal, you know. We’re all just trying to make our way. The best we can…”
And he ultimately left before adding:
“Maybe we’ll see each other again! You seem like fun.”
Before fleeing away, Zéphyr abandoned one of the boxes near the criminal’s corpse. Thus, he validated the theory of a robbery that had gone wrong. When the security arrived a few minutes later, we were the heroes of the day. And with a little bribe, nobody cared about Zéphyr’s missing ship.
This whole story surely left us a bitter taste. A feeling of defeat and humiliation that the swimming pool under the synthetic sun couldn’t make disappear even a week after.
“He undoubtedly played us as we were rookies, with his little face of a young innocent girl in distress,” I said to Ali right after the end of the daily Brett Maverick.
This old show was dispensed on a couple of giant screens suspended by drones.
Until now, Ali had remained silent on her deckchair; with a brick of sour juice stuck between her breasts and a pair of straws between her teeth. Only inaudible grunts emanated from her mouth since the departure of the sexually unclassifiable mugger.
“I wonder what information this fucking cyber-Tootsie could have been looking for in that casino,” my human mumbled as she squeaked her rainbow flip-flops.
“Admit that it’s not really that question that puts you in such a state…” I answered, now well installed on my motorized buoy that I had gotten as a gift in a diet kibbles package.
“You bet! I will have a nasty tan mark on my stomach with these bandages!” she exploded, spitting out her plastic straws with infinite curls.
My float slipped towards the ledge as a robot came to bring us our next glucose overdose.
Ali finally added:
“I swear that if we run into him again, I’ll smack his fucking angel face.”
Back to business!