| Questions | Answers |
|---|---|
| What is the dating/sex life like? | I generally have relative success with dating. I try to target mature women so that when the time comes to get busy they can handle the truth. I think it makes some women feel more secure about themselves since I'm so obviously physically flawed. |
| *EDIT: Also I sometimes put on a sideways bag and use a stealthbelt to hold my bag in place and cover it up. Otherwise sometimes I use a free hand to hold the bag while I'm gettin' freaky. | |
| That is like playing with a boob.. | You must have some experience with this! |
| Please don't take this the wrong way at all. But what happens if you get somthing in it. Is it susceptible to infection? | I don't know much about this actually. I haven't had any infections so far, and I have considered this a possibility. But then I remember that sewage was going through this tissue before, so it beats me. I try not to think about complications and just take it day by day. I plan out when I want to change my bag out and what activities I need to get done that day. Everything is planned around my colostomy bag. |
| I am an RN, and can verify that your routine should keep you infection free, providing the stoma tissue remains intact. (There is no reason for it to breakdown with the sort of care you are providing.) Have a friend with a colostomy - over 3 years now - and it has never become infected. How long have you had the colostomy? | I've had it for about 14 months straight this time, although I've also had it prior to that in between surgeries. |
| What about showering? also, when you say leakage, does it spill/trickle out of the bag? Any stories about awk stained clothing? Edit: did they seal your butthole? | Showering isn't much of a problem. Leakage is usually a spill or trickle. Yes, unfortunately sometimes it gets on clothes or sheets. It happens less and less frequently since I've learned when this is likely to happen and I manage the appliance accordingly. This is the bane of my existence and a constant fear in the back of my mind. |
| *EDIT: Yes, they sealed my butt hole. It's all stitched up. | |
| ಠ╭╮ಠ. | I love the novelty account, sir. Sorry, I have a built in prison plug. |
| I don't mean to be insensitive, but how many people tend to react with disgust when they find out? I think it's fascinating, btw, and I appreciate your openess about your situation. I've learned a lot about a topic I was kind of scared to ask people about. | I don't know. I think those that are really disgusted tend not to say much. For the most part only people who know me pretty well know anything at all about my condition. And don't worry about your question. I wouldn't have done an AMA if I wasn't up to discussing details. The point of this is to inform people that there are people like me out there (while killing time in the hospital, as well.) |
| I've known several people with similar issues (usually much older, though), but I wasn't comfortable asking them about it. It wasn't a disgust or fear thing, I simply didn't know how to bring the topic up. | Just be like, "Can we talk about your ass for a little bit?" what's up with that?! |
| Bwahahaha!! I don't think I could bring myself to say the word "ass" to an 80-year-old grandma..... | You're right. Good thing there is the internet and AMAs. |
| Lol i'm so glad you used that line. My mother painted sets for snl for about 20 years and she says that all the time. | Such a ridiculous sketch, but for some reason it makes me laugh. |
| My Question may be a bit off, but: From your writing (and your sisters pix) I take, that you are an US Citizen? As a European, your condition wouldnt be a very big deal money-wise, but what about beiing in the US? Do you have a healthcare plan covering the costs of this, or do you have to pay for this yourself? Also: feelsbadman.jpg to hear that youre in hospital on complications again, get well soon! Edited for spelling and grammar. wtf. Is it "beiing", "beeing" or "being"? maybe I should go to bed already :/. | I am a US Citizen and I'll try not to consider that a jab at my writing style! Kidding aside though, fortunately, I'm covered under my parents' insurance until I'm 26 because of the newest federal healthcare law (Obamacare, if you will). Without this I would be utterly screwed because of my "preexisting condition." I do pay significant out of pocket costs for my colostomy supplies, though. Yesterday I called up my supplier to reorder, and I was whacked for $237! |
| Yesterday I called up my supplier to reorder, and I was whacked for $237! How long does $237 worth of supplies last? | I'm thinking it was just for one month because I'd already paid the balance the previous month. Ridiculous! |
| Do you miss farting? I know i would... | I miss the sense of relief that comes with farting and being able to control a fart. However, since I don't feel the urge to fart, I can just wait until my bag is full of air and casually walk to a restroom to release. Sometimes my gas releases interrupt my sentences for me and everybody looks at me awkwardly. SAP! |
| So it becomes a balloon of fart gas? | Bingo. |
| Bringo! | What's, bringo, precious? |
| How do feel about Uranus jokes? | I always have a sick comeback because I can say "Sorry, man, I don't have one." |
| What are you studying at the moment/did you study? Has the colostomy effected your education greatly? | I'm studying finance. The colostomy hasn't affected my education until the past few days. |
| I've heard that J-pouch coloanal anastomosis is a now preferred surgery to a colostomy - Do you think that if the opportunity came along, you would have this done (I don't know how the Health System works in the US)? Link to Wikipedia, just in case you've not heard about it. | I tried to get a restorative J-pouch procedure done twice. That's actually why I've ended up with so many surgeries. Both times there were complications because my body rejected being anastomosized: terribly painful, embarrassing complications that kept me in the hospital for a long time, or living with my parents as an invalid. |
| How about swimming in the ocean? I'm imagining that would be ok? | I don't live by the ocean anymore, but I assume that you drop deuces in it all the time? |
| I just made an account just for you. I have a shit ton of questions! How long will you be in the hospital this time? Is there any activity you can do/ not do to make the shit come out faster? You said you dance. What kind of dancing? | Well, I don't actually dance I guess. I just mean, I like to go party and occasionally I get on the dance floor and make a fool of myself in an attempt to pick up women. I think they like it as long as you try a little. My favorite type is dubstep. I'm not bad at gliding. |
| Since you have less intestines, how much time does it take you do digest (or void if you can't digest)? How does this affect your poker game? Do you have to get up all the time? Do they pause the games? | Actually some things move through my entire system in a matter of minutes. Others take a few hours to half a day. My system does work extremely fast. Weird question, flexoworm. They don't pause games. And you must have read this thread very carefully to know that I play cards. I do get up frequently to relieve myself but I think it's good to take frequent breaks anyway. Since I live in the US I mainly play live games now in Indian Casinos. |
| How does dairy affect you? | Dairy doesn't affect me that negatively. It just affects output smell. |
| Do you still have your small intestines and rectum, but it's all sewn in there? | I still have most of my small intestine. I think my rectum is gonzo. The way is shut. It was made by those are dead, and the dead keep it. |
| So like how do you put the bag on and do you have to do it often? | Okay, this is going to be a long reply. |
| In the summers my bag lasts a day and a half to two days. In the winter it lasts less than a day. Some days are bad and I have to replace the appliance 3 or 4 times. | |
| The process takes about 30 minutes total if you don't include the shower that I usually take in between taking off the pouch and applying a new one. First, I take off the bag and seal it in a ziploc bag. After I throw it away, I take a shower and clean around stoma. While I'm drying off I apply toilet paper to the opening in case the stoma erupts while I'm drying. I cut a hole in the new bag (whatever size my stoma happens to be that day). Then I apply some protective powder to my skin. I take a barrier ring shaped wafer and flatten and stretch it to the size of my stoma. When it's correctly shaped I press it to the underside of the bag and squish it together. Then I coat the outside of the barrier ring and the adhesive of the bag in a rubber cement type of skin adhesive. Finally, I wet the powder on my skin a bit, dry it, and apply the bag with the wafer and adhesive cement on it to my skin. I press firmly and hold for a few minutes. When I'm done I just lie out on my back or stand upright without moving much for about 20 minutes to half an hour. Phew, I never realized how involved the process was until I had to type everything. Good question PopKern. | |
| For some reason, I've typed this lengthy reply twice, but it didn't post after I clicked save. Maybe the reply was too long? I'll try a new comment and do it in stages for you, PopKern. | |
| So, can you still get girls, or is this pretty much a deal killer? What about fucking? Are u able to fuck? | No problems there. |
| My friend has the exact same thing as you. He also has had several surgeries and now has a colostomy bag. My friends told me one time in college at a football game he emptied his bag into a drinking fountain when no one was looking. I cant even imagine what the first bystander thought when they stumbled upone a water fountain filled with shit. "How did this even happen???" :-O | This is hilariously disgusting! Your friend should be sterilized! |
| Have you ever done any pranks or something weird with your bag or intestine? | No, but if you think of a good idea, I'll do it and post it in an update. |
| My grandma once accidentally exploded in bed; in her sleep she had diarrhea and the bag got so full it popped off. Any horror stories like that? Do you sleep on a plastic mattress protector? Or did I now make you fearful for life and you're going to go get one? | There are some horror stories like that I have in my vault. For the most part though, I don't have that happen anymore. I'm a pretty light sleeper. I do use a mattress pad, but not a protector anymore. |
| Also my grandma used to do water aerobics class without any problem. (Although her bag was higher up- colon cancer took most of her bowels). Anyway, maybe if you had a way to strap in the bag there wouldn't be as much resistance in the water and the seal might stay better? | As far as the water stuff goes, I do use a stealthbelt sometimes. I think you can check it out at stealthbelt.com. It requires me putting a new pouch sideways, basically. So it can be a waste unless I've planned to wear the pouch like that for a whole day. It rides up on me often because I have large hips and a small waist; so I typically don't wear it every day. |
| What? That you seem like you make sexy time a lot? | She just laughed at the word "pussy" for some reason. Right now she's saying "Haha, pussy." |
| I just want to give you a hug, sounds like it sucks a lot! =( | Hugs skisslet back |
| How is sleeping for you? Like do you have to sleep on your side all the time? | Sleeping is somewhat of a problem. If I toss and turn (which I often do) sometimes I can wake up and my seal is broken. Generally I tend to wake up pretty quickly if this is the case and I can rush to the RR and take care of business. I can sleep on either side or my back, but definitely not my stomach for obvious reasons. |
| You sound like you get freaky a lot. Let's see your face? | Will OP deliver or not? Let me think on this one a little bit. I have to debate, because this is the only name that I use on reddit. |
| Actually, it looks as though my sister has posted some images of me under her account if you click on her name->submitted. | |
| Right? Leukemia's the real bitch. It was wretched to see the way he went. But it's good that you could take some strength from that experience. | I'm sorry about your friend. Homey survived his battle and is living his dream as a high school teacher, married to his high school sweetheart. |
| Have you ever had the shit scared out of you? | You stay classy, San Diego. |
| So, does your "abdominal asshole" (sorry don't know the technical term) hurt at all? it looks painful judging by the picture. What about when you're changing the bag? Does it ever try to heal up? | It does try to heal up occasionally. If I keep it well hydrated it sticks out nicely. But if I'm dehydrated it will tend to recess somewhat into my abdomen. It does hurt from time to time, but usually it feels fine. |
| One last thing, what exactly is the technical term? | Stoma. |
| So you poop out of your back? Do you experience the same relief when dropping a huge deuce at the end of the day? | Well, it's actually my abdomen. My deuces are frequent and similarly sized. |
| Dude you are pretty incredible. Are there any far off future cures you are hoping for, both for your condition, and to make your lifestyle a little easier? | Maybe there will be colon transplants and colon donors? Just made this but you gotta be a 90's youth to understand. |
| Man, you must have never taken a really good shit. Especially after not going for a few days, it building up, and sliding out all in one long piece. Feels good man. | I've never been that stopped up tbh. |
| How do you manage to maintain an active lifestyle that involves grad school? Based on what I've noticed about you, your condition rarely seems to hold you back. | Good question. I've become adept at planning around my condition. Instead of running or playing sports, I usually just lift weights. Poker is pretty sedentary so that works. And I only have class once a day for 2.5 hours at a time, four days a week. Sometimes I do cave and go dancing or play a little basketball. I just know that I'll have to change out the appliance that much sooner. Drinking Alcohol heavily is also an indulgence ;-) (I shouldn't do it because it's dehydrating). |
| I was wondering how you'd be able to play basktball. Seems like a sport like that would be rather challenging. From the sound of it, you do an excellent job adjusting and compensating in order to still enjoy the things you like. | Basketball is my favorite thing in the world to do. So it was hard taking a few years off and I do love to play once a week now. I just empty frequently in between games. Also, golf takes a toll, but it's worth it! |
| My special lady friend was diagnosed in the last year and it's been getting really bad. She might be headed for an ostomy bag. Any advice someone just facing this? Or for me? | If it's UC or Crohn's I assume that steroids and asacol aren't working anymore. If she's considering a surgical option, opt for the restorative J-pouch. It's worth a shot. |
| I would tell your lady friend not to focus on anything negative. Simply try your best to learn all that you can about your condition and your possible options. Evaluate, decide, and live with your decision. Anything beyond this is nonproductive. | |
| As for you, be honest. Don't sugarcoat anything, but be supportive. She will come to know that if you're going to go through it with her that you're volunteering to undergo the mental pain. And you'll be appreciated for life even things eventually go sour. | |
| Do you enjoying relaxing in a hammock? | Very much so! I don't own one though. I live in an apartment near a University. |
| How do you feel about your sister's guy friend who expects a blow job for his birthday? Link to www.reddit.com. | I just read this. I think it's odd that someone would anticipate a friend asking them for some dome. I think Nettles121 was just a little paranoid. At the same time, you might have a When-Harry-Met-Sally situation going on. It's hard to just be friends with someone of the opposite sex. And finally, if the guy keeps stepping over the line, she should just quit talking to him. I assume the line means her comfort zone border. She'll read this undoubtedly, so I've done my older brother duty for the night! |
| This suddenly seems very personal. good thing that guy isn't a redditor. he's a 9gag idiot. | Never been to 9gag, sis. or 4chan. I'm a pure blooded redditor (stolen from Harry Potter, obv)! |
| Wow man, serious respect for being so tough about this. I've had a serious surgery before and thought it was bad but nothing compares to this, sorry if this question will sound stupid but is this a permanent thing (for life) having the bag, and what are some of the things you absolutely can not do? Just name a few. | It's completely permanent unless there is some revolutionary breakthrough. Things I absolutely cannot do? Off of the top of my head? Rock climbing. I can't have sex like I used to. There are some things that I can do but I know with 80% certainty that the colostomy seal would break immediately. Those two things are in that category. Also, sit through very long movies without a bathroom break. Go on long car trips or plane trips without a break. I've always wanted to the wing suit thing that the red bull guys do. It seems out of the question, though. Oh, I definitely can't scuba dive because of the difference in pressure underwater. Is that enough? I also definitely can't eat popcorn. |
| Mild UC patient here and having my colon removed is one of my worst fears. Thank sort of deity that Lialda works wonders on me. That reminds me, I'm pooping blood again and need to make an appointment. Now questions, did you ever try medical marijuana? I've heard that works quite well. Also what are your worst foods? | I have tried medical marijuana many times, and it does work for me. I don't have a medical card, though. When I was down to 135 pounds, it helped me get my weight up and relieve the pain, both times. For foods see above, I think I answered it twice. |
| He missed about half of the school year and had to get special permission to leave class when ever he needed. have you had any problems with schooling due to the condition? | Not until this semester. Hope he's doing okay, now. |
| This might have already been asked, but are there any foods (other than popcorn) which you aren't allowed to eat? What happens if you eat them anyway? | It was asked already but basically, no corn, nuts, or other high fiber foods. I don't eat fresh vegetables, not too many fruits. I can't take caffeine in high doses, and I probably shouldn't drink as much alcohol as I do at one time. It sucks because I really do enjoy a good salad. |
| I mean, have you had diarrhea yet? How does that feel? Cause if you don't feel those sensations you get with diarrhea then I'm all for it dude! Sign me up for sowing my asshole closed. | Well, I don't think your bag seal breaking while you have diarrhea is very fun. Then you're stuck trying to control your output while changing your appliance at the same time. It can get very messy sometimes and it feels like the sky is falling. |
| Do you find you're more easily tired than before? | Definitely. I just don't do as many aerobic activities anymore. Believe it or not I used to play recreational sports just about every day. |
| Do you only get the ulcers in your colon? is there any chance they'll appear in your stomach or what's left of your intestine? | There is always a chance that they could appear in my small intestine. It would mean that I was initially misdiagnosed, but even my doctor admits that the diseases are very similar and it's a distinct possibility. |
| OP you ever think about going camping alone, naked, and just not having to wear it? | I think more about not having to deal with it altogether. Sometimes in dreams I don't have it. I do sometimes think about being in a place naked without having to wear the colostomy bag, but I keep in mind that I have to starve myself or the stoma will erupt constantly. |
| Does this kind of thing run in families? | I've heard that it does but I don't think the exact connection has been established. I know that my paternal grandfather died before I was born as a result of Colon Cancer. One of my cousins has the same disease that I do, but other than that, no one has colon problems. |
| Can you give a bit more detail as to why you're in the hospital now? | Sure. My bowel was physically obstructed. Somehow it was twisted or kinked according to the analysis of the CT scan. It could be the result of a lack of sleep, dehydration, stress, and a high caffeine intake (in other words, graduate level finals and projects). |
| What bag do you use? I use Convatec Sur-fit Natura with a Moldable Durahesive wafer. That wafer specifically is awesome. It's more expensive, but to me it's worth every penny. | I use a Hollister 88300 with a Hollister 7805 barrier ring. I've tried a couple convatecs but I'm not sure if I've tried this one. I'm gonna look it up right now. Ah, you use a two-piece. Maybe I should give this specific one a try. |
| Also, how often do you have bowel obstructions? | This is my second bowel obstruction in two weeks. The first one resolved itself without hospital intervention. |
| Heh, you get used to it after a while. Also, I got dilaudid, so at least the trip to the hospital was fun. | Yeah i was on that for a year or so. Hydromorphone, baby. |
| Does it hurt if you poke your finger in or around the hole? What's it feel like filling the bag? | It doesn't hurt to touch the actual stoma. I've never stuck my finger in it! |
| Filling the bag just feels like the bag is getting heavier. You can feel the sensation of the fluid passing through your stoma, but it doesn't feel like much. | |
| Have you ever read "Guts" by Chuck Palahniuk? | I haven't. That's the Fight Club guy, right? I'm glad to hear that he likes the movie better than the book, though. It provides an argument for whenever someone says the movie is always better than the book. |
| I have had to use a colostomy bag since I was born and I was somewhat surprised that you claimed that you need to attach a new bag every couple days and that there is leakage that commonly occurs. I only have to replace my bag once a week and leakage is rare. I do not have a recessed stoma though so I don't know how that changes things. Have you looked into other types of bags? | Yes, I've tried every type of bag that there is. I think it's just my body shape, skin type, and stoma at this point. I'm interested in why you've used one all your life, though. Care to elaborate? |
| But... but how do you have anal sex now?! | Idk; I've never intentionally tried this tbh. |
| But would it be possible? I'm just curious how high up things are closed up now, y'know? | Well, I'm a straight male with no interest in it. I have no asshole. You cannot see an asshole. By cheeks are basically sewn together right there. |
| How have you unintentionally tried it?! | Okay, Champ. You might want to not talk for a while. |
| Oh okay. Makes sense - I was more curious about where the closure is than about the anal sex. Thanks! (though I would say being straight doesn't mean you don't want your prostate touched by a nice lady.) | I agree, that's why I said "with no interest in it" to clarify. Aldous Snow once said something like, "And now if you could just involve the anus you'd be perfect." Personally, I was a little young when I started having these problems and I never experimented with it. But now that I've my current condition I certainly don't think about what it would be like to try this out! |
| Wow. That is a pretty lengthy process. I'll probably find it somewhere in this thread, but how long have you been doing this? I'm sure it's become quite natural and routine for you. | You're right about question 1. |
| Does it ever annoy you? During this process do you ever some deep thinking about your life if you had an asshole? | Question 2: almost every day. |
| What was the feeling fafafohi is describing like? | I'll take a line from Ferris Bueller, "You ever seen Alien?" |
| Anything you couldn't eat? Any effect on your diet? | See above! |
| Since you lack an asshole, are you technically allowed to have an opinion on anything? | I wish I had an asshole for every time there was an opinion-asshole related comment. I'd be able to poop three or four times as fast! |
| So your telling me I'm like every other asshole in here? | Certainly not. Great minds think alike, perhaps. And Redditors on the whole are awesome. |
| Not married? | Not married. |
| Truer words were never spoken. It was amazing to me, just how acidic the digestive juices are (those are second degree burns!) Then you think about how it can break up meat and veggies and grain into usable molecules and it makes a bit more sense, but it can still be pretty painful when it's on the outside. Pretty much every trouble I've had comes from me not being proactive. I've done the 'too sleepy to get up and empty the bag' thing, and I always regret it. Now, I really force myself to. Just this am, I was tempted to say, 'no, another hour, then I'll deal with it', and then I asked myself, do I want to deal with just the bag, or washing all my bedding again? So I got up, and never got back to that dream... I'm curious, tho, do you have a colostomy, or an ileostomy? I've now lost half my colon, but I still have part of it. Do you have any of your colon left? | Nope! |
| Ah alright. Ask if you can get a box while you are in the hospital. I'm assuming you care for it yourself while you there, so there is definite reason to get some. Its worth a try. | Totally. Upvote for you! |
| I found that when clients change the bag too often the skin becomes irritated. Also, minor skin irritation seems to clear up pretty well when left exposed to room air for 20 minutes or so. (Obviously, you have to be prepared for the possibility of drainage.) | Great information! I'm learning so much from this AMA. |
| I have a question regarding your physical appearance. Your title states "IAmA 25m without an asshole. AMA." I find it impossible for a human to be 25 meters tall. | I'm actually 6 feet 2 inches or so! |
| You must save a lot of money on toilet paper. | Actually I still have to use about 5 or 6 squares and I go much more frequently. I end up using more! |
| When I clicked your picture. | In all fairness the AMA did have the word "asshole" in the title. Like the gif though! |
| "(see pics.)" =/ | Sorry. I was thinking about including an NSFW tag but I feel like the discussion is generally fine. There is only one slightly gory photo and I don't think it classified as NSFL. |
| Also, I've had maybe 5 leaks in the three years I've used this bag, whereas back with my temp ileo I had maybe one a week. Again, I love this bag. | Thanks reallybigc. I love your name by the way. |
| I go through a local medical supply company in the San Francisco Bay Area. PM me if you'd like more details. | Will do. |
| I have this condition to. I feel so lucky for how mild my case much be. I just have to take enemas, when I feel like it. Best of luck OP I hope neither of us get bowel cancer. | Yes! This! I'm happy for you! |
| I came here thinking you were simply unmarried.... | Somebody didn't click the little expansion sign with RES, did they? I thought that getting the enhancement suite would mean I could reddit in half the time. But it turns out that I just end up looking at twice the amount of pages. |
| Link to en.wikipedia.org. | That reminds me of Rick Moranis in Ghostbusters. |
| Also, I don't think they have reddit in China, but I do speak Mandarin. This little guy's name is fun to say. | |
| Yeah they do have reddit, that's where I'm typing from. 你在哪里学过了中文吗？ | My reading is a little rusty, and I learned traditional character, but...我在大学学中文。 |
| 太好了。谢谢你回答我们的问题，我觉得你很有趣而且很勇敢！ | 我马马虎虎。 可是，谢谢。 |
| Why, Why did I click the proof! | It could have been worse--trust me. |
| That's a nice little one. I had a patient with a prolapsed stoma and to use the nurses words, "it looked like a penis was hanging from his stomach". | Thanks, but it does vary. Mine is currently pretty bloated right now from all of the IV fluids. |
| Great odin's raven! i thought i'd hidden/deleted that. shite. | Whoops? |
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